


Princess Park

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jay Tomlinson's Death, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Nervous Harry Styles, Roommates, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:49:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25845343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Louis is starting college. He's just in time managed to get an apartment a bit outside of campus, in Princess Park. He's not too nervous about it, especially considering he's having four roommates to rely on incase he's not doing too well on the surviving front.Harry isn't ready to go away from home. Sure, he has four roommates. But they're not his family and he doesn't even know their names. He has at least managed to get into a nice flat in Princess Park, but he still needs someone to comfort him when he gets stressed about life.The two boys get along better than either of them has ever done with anyone else. But with Harry's terrible trustissues and Louis not having any patience at all this can't in any world lead them anywhere else than friendship even if they're both secretly crushing terribly on each other can it?
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're off with quite a rough start, harry locking himself in his room. so basically, the backstory to harry's trust issues comes later in the fic so i thought i'd give a short backstory. nobody has ever actually wanted to be around harry, they've just faked it. therefore, he hides away from all social events and such because he doesn't feel like breaking apart again. now, enjoy this chapter!

Harry's mum is stood in the kitchen, placing some boxes of food into the fridge. She knows just as well as he does that he won't leave the flat to do anything else than go to his lessons the next week. He himself is carrying some bags into the room with his name on it. There's a noise from the room next to his, telling him that one of his roommates are already here. Anne soon walks into his room with a little smile

"Do you want me to stay for a while and help you get everything in place?" Anne asks.

Harry looks up at her for a while, considering it. "You don't need to."

"You sure?" She asks.

He smiles, giving her a hug. "I'll be fine." 

"I know. I'm just not ready to leave you. Call me tonight?" She smiles.

"Of course mum." He answers. They walk over to the door and Anne walks out. "I love you."

"I love you too Harry. Take care of yourself." She smiles through a couple of tears.

He rolls his eyes. "Don't worry mum. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Alright, I'll leave you then. Goodbye!"

"Bye! Love you." He closes the door with a small sigh. There he goes. All alone in London. Was he stupid for sending her home? Maybe. But there isn't really time for regretting that now. He walks into his small room again, starting to hang clothes into the wardrobe. He jumps when the front door is unlocked, but reminds himself that it isn't a murderer, probably just one of his roommates. He hears two voices coming from outside of his room. He especially notes a loud yet soft voice, coming from someone with an extreme Yorkshire accent. The door is closed again not long after and there's a knock on Harry's door. He spins around, locking eyes with a blue eyed boy. He gets caught up in his small smile and the messy hair.

"Hi Harry." The boy says. Harry feels his cheeks flush pink, mostly stressed about having to talk to someone.

"Um, hi?" Harry says, trying his best to hide how terrified he is. He doesn't do a good job.

The shorter boy smiles wider at him. "I'm Louis. You want help with anything?" Harry shakes his head slightly and Louis walks away. At the same time as Harry breathes out, happy to be alone again he doesn't like the fact that he could easily just have said yes to spending half an hour with seriously one of the cutest boys he's ever seen. Sighing, he turns back to the box. The extremely boring writing desk is soon lit up with pictures of Max, his family dog, some neat pencils and pastel colored notebooks. He moves on to start making his bed, but gives up when he gets to the duvet. It's a literal impossible task. It doesn't matter how much he tries, he always ends up twisting the blanket. Sighing, he considers asking Louis to help him. But on his way over to the door the feeling of knowing that he might not be given help anyway takes over and he turns back around and tries again, this time turning on some music in his headphones. It helps a little and after two more tries he finally gets it right. He picks his phone up to check the time. Five thirty pm. He should get thinking of what to eat, Harry thinks to himself just as Louis appears in the doorway. Harry looks over at the short boy with a shy smile.

"We're gonna head out to eat, wanna join?" Louis asks.

Harry feels his pulse rise. He will most likely regret it, he comes to realise. "No I'll, um, I'll stay here instead." He says.

Louis smiles, nodding slightly. "Okay. See you later."

"Yeah." Harry mumbles. He sits down by the desk with the computer he got for his birthday a couple of years ago, trying to come up with something to write about. Because just like usual when he meets new people, Harry is stressing himself out. A lot. Even though he's said like three sentences since he got here. He slams the computer shut soon though as he can't seem to come up with a word to write down. He walks out into the kitchen, trying to find some food in the fridge. He finds some leftover chinese food from literally the night before that he microwaves for a couple of minutes. He feels completely empty. And alone. Usually, he has at least one family member with him at home or he's hanging out with Mitch. But now, there's suddenly two problems. He's all alone in London. In a flat that sure, it's nice to have a view over Princess park but that doesn't push away the reality. And reality right now is that he's in London, at university, surrounded by people he doesn't know. He barely even knows the names of his roommates. He's met Louis, but there are still three more. That he knows nothing about. At all. He heard a Irish accent from the hallway just before he left but that doesn't count. He doesn't know the boys name, what he looks like or if he's even _nice._ Especially if he's nice is a pretty good starter if you're gonna get to know someone. Not that he's going to, because nobody apart from Mitch has ever wanted to. But that's just because nobody's ever wanted to be around Mitch apart from Harry.

\- - -

A sigh slips out of Harry as he lies down on his bed an hour later. He's just changed into his pj's and is about to start up a youtube video when he hear the front door unlock and looks out of his door. It's just Louis. Alone. It's weird, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. They will reject his friendship soon enough anyway. He picks up his phone, but jumps around when he hears Louis voice.

"Hey. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Louis says.

Harry smiles before looking down on his phone again. "It's alright." He wants to ask why he came back alone, but doesn't. 

He sees Louis smile from the corner of his eye. "Good. You don't happen to have a painkiller? I have a terrible headache."

"Oh, um, I think I have one. I'll check." Harry says. Louis smiles and walks out to the living room. Very well, he finds a painkiller in his schoolbag and walks out to Louis who is waiting on the couch. "Here you go. Do you want a glass of water or something?"

Louis shakes his head. "No, it's alright."

"You sure?" Harry asks.

Louis lets out a sigh. "I'm not five Harry." 

Harry looks down into the floor. "Yeah. Sorry." He turns around, walking back into his room. He notices Louis quirking an eyebrow at his sad reaction when he enters his bedroom but doesn't care. Suddenly, he doesn't feel like doing anything at all. With a sigh he turns the lights off in the room and curls up under his blanket, letting his tears fall onto the pillow. He's been here for literally like five hours - and he's already managed to upset his roommate. Off to a great start. 

"Harry? Can I come in?" Louis asks, his voice muffled by the door.

Harry sighs, drying away his tears. "Sure." Not that he wants to talk more to Louis but he on the other hand doesn't feel like saying no. 

Louis turns on the light and walks over to Harry's bed, sitting down on the edge. "You okay?" He says softly. 

"Yeah." Harry says, drying away a tear.

Quirking an eyebrow, Louis sighs. "You don't look like it." Harry looks away from Louis. "Did I do something?"

"No." Harry shakes his head. "I just, sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I literally made you upset Harry." Louis says.

Sighing, Harry shakes his head. "It's not your fault. Really. I'm just like this I guess. I always think the worst about everything." He shrugs.

"And now you think I hate you?" Louis asks softly. Harry nods. "I don't Harry." When Harry doesn't say anything Louis sighs. "Trust me Harry, I don't. Goodnight."

"Night." Harry mumbles. Louis looks at him with a smile and sighs as he turns the light off and walks out again, closing the door quietly after himself.

\- - -

Harry stays in his room for the next day and when he hears a soft knock, he almost jumps. "Yeah?" He says, with an unsure and shaking voice.

Louis opens the door and walks over to his bed with a sigh. "Harry, please talk to me."

"I, I'm sorry. I just can't." Harry mumbles, trying to stop his tears.

Louis sighs again. "Please."

Harry stares at the white wall opposite of his bed. "Why do you even care?"

"Because you're a kind person Harry. And I care about you." Louis says.

Harry just shakes his head. "You don't have to lie." He grabs a pillow, hiding his face.

"I'm not lying Harry. I do care about you. Why else would I try to make you feel better right now?" Louis asks quietly.

"Because you wanna be nice. You don't have to." Harry sighs, lifting his head up.

Louis dries away a tear from Harry's cheek. "Like I said, I'm not lying. I just really want you to talk to me."

"And I already said, I'm not going to." Harry says, almost raising his voice for the first time in his life.

A sigh slips out of Louis. "I can't force you to I guess. I, yeah. Also, it's almost seven. You should probably get something to eat." He gets up, leaving Harry's room. Harry isn't going anywhere. At all. Not even to eat. He gets changed into his pj's, grabs his phone and headphones. He turns the light off and turns on the notebook. By the saddest part of the film, he realises Mitch hasn't sent him a single text for the past two days. Tears creep up on him worse than ever and he turns his phone off. He has nobody. Okay, Louis has said he cares about Harry but honestly that's probably a lie anyway. Sounds like fun to get through uni without a single friend by his side. With tears streaming down his face, Harry falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	2. Chapter 2

Harry's been in his room studying for the past five hours. He's finally done now though and with a sigh he slams the computer shut, walking out to the living room. His room is unbearably hot and he needs to eat anyway. The door to Louis' room opens, he jumps slightly at the noise before turning his head around.

Louis meets his eyes with a smile. "Are you easily scared?"

Harry shrugs, blushing slightly as Louis sits down next to him. "I guess, yeah."

"You seem down. Did something happen?" Louis asks. The words hit Harry harder than they should. It kind of had. Mitch hasn't given a thought of reaching out to him since they left for college. The thought of losing his only friend gets a tear to fall down his face.

"Kind of." Harry mumbles.

Louis dries away the tear with a sweet smile. "D'you wanna talk about it?" Harry shakes his head. "Okay. Want a distraction?" Harry nods, but stays silent. "Wait here." Louis says and gets up from the couch. He returns with scrabble and Harry's face lights up slightly.

"Ready to lose?" He mumbles teasingly with a hint of sadness left in his voice, smirking at Louis.

Louis just snorts. "Try me." They start playing and it turns out Louis isn't too bad, it's just that Harry is a natural that literally can't do anything wrong while playing scrabble. "This isn't any fun." Louis groans after a while.

Harry laughs. "Let's at least finish this round. I should probably go sleep soon anyway." He shrugs.

"Fine." Louis whines. Harry rolls his eyes but keeps quiet while winning the game. "I hate this." Louis mutters afterwards. It's like something switches inside of Harry. He almost starts shaking at the words, as if Louis is declaring his hate for Harry. "Hey, take it easy Harry. Take a deep breath. You're panicking."

"I'm sorry." Harry mumbles, getting up from the couch. He walks over to the front door, getting his sneakers on. He needs to get out. Louis says something to him, but he really doesn't care. He walks out of the flat and walks down into the small park just below, sitting down on a bench. There's nobody around and he lets himself cry in order to be able to calm down. He can see a shadow in the window of Louis' bedroom and lets out a relieved sigh. He isn't being followed at least. He looks around the park, surprised when he hears Louis' voice.

"Hey." Louis sits down next to him.

Harry sends him a quick smile. "You, um. You don't need to care this much about me. Or pretend to if that's what you're doing."

Louis looks at him for a while and sighs. "Harry. I don't know what other stupid people have done to you before to make you think that I'm lying. I don't hate you. You know, I'm terrible about hiding how I feel about people. You would have noticed. I promise.

"I don't, sorry. I don't know how to socialize. Just, I need to think." Harry mumbles.

"Alright." Louis smiles at him, getting up and walking back to the flat. The sun is starting to set and he has just the perfect view. He stays outside until it's completely dark, admiring the view from the creaking bench. When he walks back up to the flat, the lights are turnt off everywhere but in Louis' room. Harry can hear him talking, sobbing through his words. He sighs and walks into his room, getting into his pj's before turning the lights off and quickly drifting off to sleep.

\- - -

When he wakes up the next morning Niall and Liam are already having classes, Zayn is sleeping and Louis is eating breakfast.

"Morning." Harry mumbles to him.

"Goodmorning." Louis' voice cracks and they both chuckle slightly.

Harry turns around, smiling slightly. "Want a cup of tea?"

"Please." Louis almost whispers so quiet he's talking.

When Harry sits down, he sighs. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Really. I'm just, like, not ready to take in the fact that everybody doesn't hate me."

Louis nods. "It's alright." His voice is still cracking unhealthily much.

"Save the talking 'til you've got your tea. I don't want your voice breaking." Harry says. Louis smiles, giving him a nod. The silence is comfortable, it creates a safe space for Harry's brain to think in. He jumps up from his chair in fear when the tea pot starts whistling as the tea is done. 

"Thanks." Louis smiles when Harry hands him a cup before sitting down himself. "Why are you so scared of all noise? You don't have to-"

"I've always been a bit jumpy. My sister always threw things at me when she got mad at me when we were small, that didn't exactly make it better." Harry mumbles, taking a sip of his tea. 

"Your sister seems nice." Louis chuckles.

Harry chuckles slightly. "She's a lot better now. D'you have any siblings?"

Louis grimaces. "I'm the eldest of seven siblings."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. It isn't too fun." Louis finishes his tea before getting up. "Need to get ready for my first class. When do you start?"

Harry looks over to the clock. "In an hour."

"Lucky." Louis says before leaving. That went way too smoothly. Harry isn't panicking, and Louis even left him. He feels himself start smiling in complete pride of himself. He is kind of allowed to though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! im going to try to update on mondays and thursdays from now on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one, sorry about that. enjoy!

Louis lets out a sigh when Harry leaves the kitchen table. "D'you think I upset him?"

Niall rolls his eyes. "Mate, chill out. You're so gone for him though." 

"No I'm not!" Louis protests. His cheeks doesn't agree with him though, they're bright red.

"Yes you are." Niall says. "But if you say so, I can't disagree I guess."

Louis sighs. "Okay. I might be crushing slightly." Not slightly. He knows it himself. But he can't do anything. Harry is just starting to trust him, he can't risk it. Plus, he's not ready to tell anyone about it. Not even Niall. Even if they're really close.

"Shoot your shot mate." Niall says.

"I, no. I can't. He's just starting to open up, I don't wanna fuck this up." Louis shakes his head. He means it as well. Fucking up things with Harry is the last thing he wants to do. There are a lot of things he doesn't want to do, but that would definetely be the worst.

"I see. Well, I have to get going." Niall sighs. "Bye." Louis doesn't have time to answer before Niall is out of the flat, walking to his first class of the day. Harry's bedroom door opens and he walks over to the front door, getting his chelsea boots on in complete silence. Louis doesn't say anything but catches himself smiling over at Harry. He doesn't seem to notice it, which is pretty lucky.

"Bye." Harry says quietly.

Louis smiles wider. "Bye." He really is lost for the tall boy. But he's not going to do anything. Harry is special to him, even if they'll have to stay friends forever. He doesn't care. Just to have Harry around is a dream, no matter in what way.

\- - -

He can't get his thoughts off Harry for the rest of the day. His classes goes by slower than ever before, he's just longing to go home. He's sneaked a look on the others schedules, he's gonna be alone with Harry in their flat for two hours until the other boys come home. He gets his phone up, wanting to ask Harry if he's down for some scrabble. He then realises that he doesn't have Harry's number. That's number one for tonight then - getting Harry's number. When the clock goes off, Louis is the first one to leave the classroom. He almost runs out of the building and all the way home. He doesn't slow down until he reaches the park outside of the flat. Harry's sitting in his room, playing music and studying when Louis comes in. The music immediately stops and Harry walks out of his room.

"Hey." He says with a slight smile.

"Hey. Down for some scrabble?" Louis asks, smiling back as he kicks his shoes off.

"Sure." Harry shrugs slightly. Louis goes to get scrabble and by the time he walks back out, Harry's dragged an oversized hoodie on top of the t-shirt and put his long hair up in a bun. He can't help but think to himself how damn cute the tall boy looks.

Just like usual, Louis loses scrabble. But not with much. Something seems off with Harry, he just can't put his finger on what. He meets Harry's green eyes and notices how terribly unhappy they look.

"You okay?" Louis asks softly.

"Yeah." Harry nods. "I'm just scared. Of losing everything." Louis doesn't say anything, Harry doesn't look like he's done. In fact - he isn't. "My only friend has just. He hasn't said a word to me since we left for college. And I'm just so scared, that I've been opening up too quickly to you and you'll just suddenly not want to be around anymore. It's silly."

Louis shakes his head. "No. It isn't silly. I get it Harry. Thanks for telling me." Harry just sends him a quick smile. "You look like you could use a hug." Harry shrugs, but nods slowly after a couple of seconds. Louis pulls him in for a hug. This was an excellent excuse for him to get to hug Harry. He can't help but notice how softly, yet tightly Harry hugs him and how safe it feels. He smells of vanilla. Which is weird that Louis even notices, he just can't help to. When Harry pulls away there's a smile on his lips.

"Thanks. I should probably get some rest, I've decided to listen to your advice and take a day off from studying. I added socializing to it." Harry says.

Louis chuckles. "I kind of ruined that then."

"Yeah. It's okay though." Harry looks like he's about to say something more, but ends up not doing that. "See you tomorrow." 

"Yeah." He smiles at Harry. "Don't break the promise not to study."

Harry laughs. "Wouldn't call it a promise but I guess I won't do that then." He disappears into his room. Louis cleans up scrabble and brings it back with him into his room, where he sits down and starts studying, still not really able to get his mind to go away from Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! <3


	4. Chapter 4

Harry wakes up more energetic than ever the next day. It actually wasn't such a stupid idea ot have a day off from studying every now and then. He yawns and gets out of bed, almost walking into Louis on his way out to the kitchen.

"Sorry." He mumbles.

Louis smiles at him. "It's okay. You want a cup of tea?"

Harry smiles back. "I mean, if you're okay with getting me some?"

"Yeah, 'course." Louis says, getting two mugs out of the cupboard.

"Thanks." Harry says, getting a bowl of cereal. "Also, thanks for making me not study yesterday. I think I needed a day off." Louis doesn't say anything, but meets Harry's gaze and smiles. They sit in silence while eating, it's actually quite nice. Harry's thoughts drift away to what he's gonna have to do in between and after his classes to keep up with school and totally misses out on what Louis is saying.

"Earth calls, Styles." Louis chuckles.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Harry asks. He can't help but laugh slightly, Louis' laugh has something to it that he can't stop himself from loving. 

Louis rolls his eyes teasingly. "I was asking if you want company after school if you're gonna study?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. I like to throw my textbooks in the floor when I get mad, you should prepare yourself." Harry says. He manages not to blush at the thought of spending the evening studying with Louis. 

"I don't care. Sometimes I threw my books out of the school windows when it rained so they'd get destroyed. I just ended up having to pay the school so I didn't really get anywhere. Don't try it." Louis says, laughing a little.

Harry snorts. "Sometimes I wonder if I should worry about your brain cells."

"You probably should, to be honest. I need to get ready. See you after school." Louis says, getting up from the table.

\- - -

The day is going slower than ever. Harry's finally home, but Louis' last class doesn't end until in half an hour. He ends up pacing back and forth in his room until the front door unlocks. He sits down on his bed with one of his textbooks. It's not long until Louis knocks on his door. He looks up and meets Louis' blue eyes.

"Come in." He says, looking back down.

"Have you been studying _without me_?" Louis asks, gasping dramatically.

Harry just rolls his eyes. "I literally started five minutes ago."

"Still not fair." Louis protests. "Whatever. How's it going?" He sits down next to Harry.

"Pretty good. I'm getting into the shit now." Harry says with a slight shrug.

"That's great. I haven't done way to much studying so I have a tad to catch up on. But it's going better than I thought it would." Louis says, opening his book. They sit in silence, and Harry notices how much better he studies with company. It really is weird how much he's been able to get to know Louis. But on the other hand, he knows that it will definetely take a turn soon. He's not used to getting to know people, and this has gotten by so damn fast. He wasn't prepared for this when he left to go to college. He sighs and slams the textbook shut, getting another one up in his lap and starts making notes as he reads. He groans after a while, getting up to put his hair up in a bun. 

"Never grow your hair out, it's not fun when it all gets in your face let me tell you." He complains.

"Wasn't planning on actually. I think it suits you quite well though." Louis shrugs, not looking up from his textbook. Pretty lucky for Harry, as he's currently blushing.

"Thanks. I think I'm gonna cut it off though. Want it a bit longer so I can donate it first." He says, trying to keep calm as he sits back down. 

"That's what I'm saying, you're the nicest person I've ever met." Louis mumbles under his breath. 

"That would be quite impossible I'd say." Harry almost whispers.

"Nope. Focus on what you should though so you don't start panicking. I work a lot better when I have company so you're not allowed to leave." Louis says.

Harry snorts at him. "I'm so scared."

They continue to study on and for hours until Louis gets so tired he almost rips out a page in his textbook.

"Okay, let's play some scrabble before you murder me too." Harry says. He pushes his things off his bed while he waits for Louis to return. They start playing and it's not long until Louis relaxes. It's six pm when they emerge from Harry's room to get dinner in silence. Harry must radiate some sort of energy that tells Louis he's really not in the mood for talking - he really isn't. He's done his daily socializing and a little extra in just a couple of hours. That should make him worth some rest from speaking. He locks eyes with Louis when he sits down by the table and it quickly makes him blush. His phone buzzes with an unknown number.

**Unknown number: You are so fucking gone for Louis mate /Niall**

Harry's heart picks up as he stiffens up, not sending another thought to it. Or at least trying not to. The reality of that can't catch up on him. It just can't. Not yet at least. How the hell did Niall have his phone number all of a sudden anyway? He sighs, looking down as he finishes his food.

"Are you just not in the mood for talking or did something happen?" Louis asks when Harry gets up from the table.

"I'm alright. Really tired. Not too easy being around you for loads of hours." Harry lies. He usually doesn't as long as it isn't to his mum and it definetely makes him feel like a terrible person. But he can't tell Louis. He just can't. Because then everything would suddenly add up. Harry wanting to be around him all the time, opening up quicker than he's done ever before. Actually, it adds up now as well. But he can at least pretend that it isn't when he isn't blushing in front of Louis, showing him Niall's text. That'd be _way_ too obvious. With a sigh, he changes into his pj's and crawls into bed, playing some youtube videos until he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is SO late, but i hope its still enjoyable :) also, it probably isn't because this is literally WAY TOO SHORT, but i'm trying my best with school and a tad bit of writers block.

The weeks pass. Harry goes into hiding a couple of times, panicking about whether or not he's rushing his friendship with Louis too much. He's just gotten out of his room for the first time in a week, apart from getting food and going to classes. Louis is out in the kitchen. He sends Harry a smile when he sits down with some bread, but doesn't mention the fact that he has been hiding for a week. He's learnt not to over the past weeks, and Harry couldn't be more grateful. Louis almost, just almost, understands him. It's nice. The fear of losing that creeps up on Harry and he gets a glass of water, mostly to be able to take a couple of deep breaths and calm himself down without Louis noticing. It doesn't seem like Louis noticed as he's sitting with his phone, his face just as stone cold as before. He puts it down, meeting Harry's eyes.

"Nice to see your face again." Louis smiles. Harry blushes slightly. "Wanna play some scrabble?"

"Um, yeah. Sure. Let me get dressed and brush my teeth first." Harry mumbles back. Louis nods, picking his phone up. It's pretty noticable when he isn't in the mood for band apparently, Louis' facial expressions and when he talks and not has taught him the last three weeks. He finishes his breakfast pretty quickly before getting changed and brushing his teeth. It's getting really cold in the flat, and a thick hoodie is barely enough to keep him warm. Might be that he's naturally cold as well, but it's still annoying. When he walks back out to the living room, Louis has already gotten scrabble all set. They start playing as soon as Harry is sitting down, but something's definetely off. Harry can't seem to have it in himself to win, making Louis win with thirteen points.

"I would want to be happy, but I'm quite worried about you actually." Louis says, looking straight into Harry's eyes.

Harry sighs. "It's nothing. I just haven't gotten out of my hiding mood. It takes a while sometimes."

Louis smiles. "Alright. Tell me if you need to talk?" He says, unsure.

"Yeah. I'll try my best." Harry says.

Louis smiles, knowing that he isn't getting any more than that answer. "Thanks." They disappear into their rooms without a single word ot each other. It's nice, but also terrifying. Harry has no idea what is going on in Louis' head. Should he be worried, or is Louis just being nice because he notices that Harry needs some space to figure himself out? Either way, it's nice. Because he definetely needs some time to melt life down right now.

\- - -

(Louis POV)

It's like a switch that keeps turning on and off in Harry's brain. When the switch turns on, he isnt able to interact with anyone. When it's off, he's social, teasing and kind. Right now, the switch is in between. He was locked up in his room for a week until a couple of hours ago. The switch proceeded to turn off and he was almost back to his usual self when he ate breakfast, but then it turned back on again.

Now, Harry is back in his room. Louis lets out a sigh when he sits down on his bed. It's terrible. He wants to understand, want Harry to understand how much Louis cares about him. But that clearly isn't happening. Not today at least. Harry probably needs some time alone first. Before he could eventually get even safer with actually talking to Louis instead of just hiding away. He doesn't expect Harry's soft knock to suddenly be heard on the door.

"Come in." Louis says. Harry opens the door, walking over to Louis' bed. He looks even more down than before.

"Can you distract me with something? I need something to focus on." He mumbles.

Louis nods, sending him a smile. "Of course. What d'you wanna do?"

Harry shrugs. "Doesn't matter."

"M'kay. Have you watched homeland?" Louis asks. Harry just shakes his head in a no. "Okay. You alright with watching some of it then? I think you'd like it."

"Sure." Harry mumbles.

They stay there for the rest of the day, watching episode after episode. Harry gets a little more energetic after lunch and starts commenting on their bad decisions, not failing to make Louis laugh. Or realise how badly he's crushing on the curly haired boy. He can't get away from the reality of that - he really is crushing on Harry. Pretty badly. He pushes the thought away - there's nothing he can do about that for now at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna try my best to get into posting mondays and thursdays but bare with me if i dont ;) the whole fic will be up before i stop updating even if i miss a couple of updates every now and then.

By the next morning, Harry feels like himself again and he quite literally jumps all the way out to the kitchen. Louis seems to notice how happy he is and a smile lights up his tired face. Harry smiles back, getting a cup of tea and a toast.

"Feeling better?" Louis asks.

Harry sits down, rolling his eyes slightly. "No, I'm actually about ten times worse. Can't you tell?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Louis laughs. "I like happy Harry better."

"Me too." Harry says, smiling. He's looking down at his cup of tea, but notices Louis looking at him with a smile. It's all starting to clear up now. Louis isn't lying. He actually cares about Harry. It's a really, really weird feeling. To have someone care about him, for the first time in eighteen years. Apart from his family then. He catches Louis' blue eyes with a smile that is quickly responded to. Sure, it's a weird feeling. But it's weird in a good way.

\- - -

Louis walks into the living room and sighs at Harry. "You've been doing homework for two hours Harry, you need a fucking break man." Harry doesn't even get scared at the sudden talking from Louis. He's grown used to the jumpscares it gives him at random occasions. It for some reason feels safe when he talks, it sets Harry into ease.

"I don't have anything else to do. Plus, it's not _way_ too boring." He shrugs.

"I don't believe you. I'm gonna go get scrabble." Louis says and disappears into his room. 

Harry sends him a mischievous smirk as he gets rid of his homework. "Well, you are going to lose. Prepare yourself."

Louis snorts. "I think the hardest thing is going to be not getting you to panic." Harry stiffens up at the mention, which Louis immediately notices. "Hey, I didn't mean like that. I mean, I'm not too good at controlling myself. Take it easy." He says softly.

"Yeah, sorry. Let's start?" Harry mumbles. Louis smiles at him and nods slightly. He doesn't question why Harry is sorry, he's learnt not to over the past days probably. "Alright then, my time to shine." Harry says quietly when the game is ready to be played. Louis snorts, shaking his head as they start. Harry drifts away in his thoughts after a while, causing him to almost lose. He doesn't really care though, it's nice to just spend some time with Louis. It's weird that he thinks so now that he gives it a thought. He's never in his life enjoyed hanging out with someone. Not even with Mitch. He looks up at Louis, meeting his warm gaze. He blushes slightly and looks away, placing out the last word. 

"The loser cleans it up." Harry teases him, but ends up helping out anyway. 

Louis smiles at him. "Thanks. Wanna go out somewhere for lunch?" Harry's cheeks burn, flushing pink.

"Um, sure." He manages to get himself to say. Louis ruffles his hair through, before leaving the hallway with a smile. Harry walks into his room, letting out a sigh. He really is getting a bit more comfortable around Louis, but there's something.. Weird about it all. How he's never wanted to be this much around somebody and how terribly much he's blushing. He doesn't have anyone to talk to either, he'd just be mocked for crushing on someone then. He could reach out to Mitch, but he probably won't have anything to say. The other roommates are not an option, he barely knows them. He knows their names and what they look like at least, but he can't bring himself to get to know them. It's just a lucky surprise that he even found _one_ person to be around. He hasn't totally processed it yet, so getting to know three new people feels like an insane amount. He sighs just as Louis knocks.

"Come in." Harry says. Louis opens the door with a slight smile on his lips, but doesn't come inside. "You are allowed to come in."

"I was just gonna ask where you wanna eat?" Louis says. Harry thinks for a while, but ends up blushing as he gets lost in Louis' blue eyes.

"Um, I don't really care. You can decide." He mumbles, looking out of the window.

Louis raises an eyebrow slightly. "You sure?" Harry looks back at him with a nod. "If you say so." Louis leaves again, his steps disappearing over to his room. Harry takes a deep breath. Is he crushing on Louis? He can't be. He can't let that be true. He just can't. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his thoughts down. It's not like he hasn't been known about the fact that he is attracted to men. But this is the first person ever, apart from maybe Mitch, that has genuinely cared about him. He can't bring himself to fuck it up.

\- - -

"You have fucking _chelsea boots_?" Louis raises an eyebrow. "Not gonna lie, it suits you."

"Um, thanks." Harry says with a slight smile.

Louis smiles back at him. "Let's go then." Harry nods slightly. He's definetely crushing on Louis. He tries to push the thought away, but isn't too good at making it happen. "You're thinking again Harold. What's up?"

"Oh, it's, um. It's nothing. I promise." He smiles, blushing slightly. Louis raises an eyebrow, snorting slightly. He definetely sees through that lie. But Harry doesn't care at all. He kind of believes himself and that's kind of where he wanted it to go honestly. Louis drags him over to a KFC. Of course. He thinks about teasing Louis about it, but changes his mind just before opening his mouth. Teasing isn't his thing. Louis can keep doing that, Harry keeps himself to not speaking a lot rather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so short :( thanks for reading! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're getting somewhere with this! things will definetely start progressing slightly now, although there is a looot left with this. enjoy!

Harry is woken up by a light knock on his door. "Come in." He mumbles. Louis opens the door, letting in too much sunlight for Harry's eyes to handle. He covers his eyes with a hand only to realise that he's shirtless.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" Louis asks.

"Yeah. It's alright." Harry yawns.

Louis smiles at him. "Good. I made pancakes if you want some."

Harry sighs but gets up anyway. He's taking the whole saturday off from even _thinking_ about school. He's off to a good start, waking up at ten am. He gets a hoodie on before walking out to the kitchen. Louis is sitting with his phone and the other three boys are already out pre-partying. 

"Aren't you gonna go out with the others?" Harry asks as he sits down.

"Not a big fan of partying actually. I enjoy hanging here for the whole day." Louis shrugs.

Harry nods slightly. "Not gonna judge you. Down for some scrabble then?"

"Yeah, 'course." Louis smiles.

Harry starts eating and they go into silence. Louis picks up his phone while Harry tries his best to just wake up fully. It isn't going too well. His throat is itching from his hayfever, causing him to cough way too much.

"You feeling sick?" Louis asks, looking at him with worry in his blue eyes.

"Hayfever." Harry says, downing a glass of water to stop the itching before sitting down. "I need to go get some medicine."

He says after a couple of more seconds, walking into his room again. He takes a pill that he'd brought with him in case of this exact scenario before returning out to the kitchen. He lets out a sigh as he sits down again. 

"D'you have any studying to do?" Louis asks.

Harry shakes his head. "Taking a day off."

Louis smiles at him. "You're learning Harold!"

"Maybe so." Harry rolls his eyes slightly. "I just. I feel like we need to talk." He looks up at Louis who immediately gets worry in his look. "Don't worry, nothing happened. We can take it later, I want to wake up first."

"Alright." Louis says. "I'm gonna go brush my teeth if you're alright with me leaving?"

"Yeah, that's alright." Harry smiles at him.

Louis smiles back before getting up. Harry finishes breakfast as quickly as possible before going to brush his teeth. Louis is in his room when he walks out of the bathroom, putting his hair up in a messy bun. 

Louis looks up and smiles when Harry knocks. "Come in, come in. Wanna play a round of scrabble and then we can talk about whatever is on your mind?"

"Sure." Harry smiles back, sitting down opposite of Louis by the scrabble board.

Even with how nervous he is, Harry manages to win anyway. He takes a deep breath as soon as they're done.

"Okay. So, I figured it'd only be fair to let you know this. First off all - thanks for just not trying to get me out of my room for the whole week. You're probably the first person ever to know better." 

"No worries. It's pretty easy to tell when you need some space." Louis says softly. 

Harry nods, looking into the floor. "I haven't really told anyone about this before. But I haven't had anyone to really rely on before I got to know you. It's just really hard for me to read between the lines of what people say. That's why I always panic. I really enjoy being around you and I don't think it's ever been _you_ that has done something wrong. I just. Haven't had anyone that's ever really cared about me?" Louis dries away a tear Harry hasn't even noticed appeared.

"And now you can't really process the fact that I do?" Louis asks softly. 

"Yeah." Harry nods slowly.

Louis pulls him in for a soft hug. "You'll get there at some point. There's no need to stress about it. I won't disappear even if I'll have to wait."

Harry looks into his blue eyes with hope. "Promise?"

"Promise." Louis smiles.

They stay like that for minutes. Harry can't help but to just enjoy the feeling of comfort he's getting from Louis' arms wrapped softly around him. It's amazing even if he can't bring himself to tell Louis about that. He can't bare with the fact that Louis might reject him in case he actually tries to tell him how he really feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, we're getting there! the next couple of chapters will be a wild ride, let me tell you ;)

Harry hums along to the song playing from his bluetooth speaker when he hears a knock on his door and turns around.

"Come in." Louis opens the door with a smile. "Hey."

"Hey. How you doing?" Louis asks.

"Just fine. Doing some studying." Harry shrugs.

Louis ruffles his hair up a bit, before sitting down next to him on the bed.

"Knew it. Wanna do something else for a while? I'm bored and the others just left."

Their knees brush together, sending sparks of electrictity in Harry. He blushes slightly. It's annoying, considering the fact that Louis probably just doesn't like him as anything else than a friend. Not even close to the "best-friend line". 

"Yeah sure. Why didn't you leave with them?" Harry asks.

"Not a big fan of getting drunk. I like chilling out more." Louis says. 

Harry slams his textbook shut, looking over to Louis. They lock eyes for a moment before Harry feels heat crawling up his neck and looks away.

"Alright then. What do you want to do?"

"Um, I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for scrabble. Down for some movie?" Louis asks.

"Always." Harry smiles at him. "The notebook?"

Louis smiles back, his blue eyes meeting Harry's green.

"Sure. But I'm gonna cry, and you'll have to comfort me."

"Fine with me." Harry shrugs. "I'll get my computer."

He gets up from his bed, grabbing the computer and quickly logging onto netflix as he walks back to his bed where Louis is impatiently waiting for him to start the movie.

"Eager?" Harry laughs.

"Always. Movies are the real shit." Louis answers, looking at Harry.

Harry snorts, not meeting the clear blue eyes. "If you say so."

He sits down on his bed again, placing the computer in front of them on a chair. By accident, his shoulder brushes against Louis'. What if that's weird to Louis? Although, can it be? It's pretty obviously an accident considering the fact that Harry moves away from the touch almost immediately. Luckily they've turnt the lights off so Louis can't see it, but Harry is blushing. Way too much. He doesn't know what to do with himself at this point and starts panicking. Of course, Louis notices and turns the movie off.

"Are you okay? You look stressed." Louis says softly.

"Um, yeah. It's nothing." Harry mumbles .

Louis places a hand on his knee to comfort him. "You sure? I'm always here if you need to talk."

"I promise." Harry says, his face about as bright red as a tomato.

He can see a slight smile on Louis' face as he starts playing the movie again without bothering to remove his hand. Harry smiles, relaxing into his touch after a while. It actually is quite comforting, even if there's nothing to comfort him from really. Except, now there is. Because he's now officially crying over the movie.

"I like the fact that I told you that I'd need to be comforted, yet you're the first to cry." Louis chuckles.

Harry looks over at him. "I'm quite emotional if you haven't already noticed." 

Louis smiles at him through the dark. "C'mere. I don't like when you're crying." He says. Harry hops closer to Louis who hugs him tightly. "And I have kind of noticed that you're emotional by now. I'm quite emotional too actually. I just like to hide it."

Harry feels every little part of his happiness disappear. Louis feeling shitty alone doesn't sit right with him, but when he also hides it away it gets even worse.

"Don't." Harry says, pulling away from Louis' warm hug. "I mean, I'm not one to speak."

"Yes you are. You talk to me at least. I don't even let myself feel anything." Louis mumbles. The thought of Louis feeling like shit and just trying to force it away makes him feel bad.Sure, it's good that he's even telling Harry about _this_ , but it isn't enough. In the long run, he's going to be even worse than Harry himself if he just 

Harry wraps him up tightly in a hug with a small sigh. "Don't do that. Please. Talk to me instead. Or whoever you want to. Just, let yourself feel terrible."

"I'll do my best." Louis says.

"Pinky promise?" Harry says, lifting his hand up. Louis hooks his pinky around Harry's with a smile, not letting go of it as he rests his hand back on his thigh. Harry doesn't mind. At all. It's nice, the little touch from Louis' finger sending electric sparks through his whole body.

\- - -

They continue their now pretty daily routine of a round of scrabble for a couple of days. Harry feels himself start getting more and more comfortable and vulnerable when he's around Louis. It's a nice feeling, but also not too nice. Thing is, he's falling more and more for every day that passes. Everything Louis opens up to Harry about seems to make him go even more head over heels, and he definetely needs to do something about it. Not that he knows _what_. Sure, he's gotten closer with Niall, Liam and Zayn. But he can't trust them with not telling Louis about his crush. He doesn't know them _that_ well. Although, Liam definetely doesn't seem like the person to even accidentally let it slip out of his mouth. With a deep breath, Harry gathers himself and knocks on the door to Liam's door.

"Come in!" Liam's cheerful voice says from inside. Harry opens the door with a slight smile. "Oh, Harry!"

"Hey. I, um. Wanted to talk to you about something." Harry says quietly. "But you can't tell anyone. Literally." Liam fakes sealing his mouth. A nervous sigh slips out of Harry. "So, I basically have a crush. On Louis."

Liam quirks an eyebrow. "Oh, I absolutely couldn't tell! Sorry, carry on." He says.

"I have no idea what to do Liam. I've just gotten a great friendship with him, I'm so scared to ruin it now. He's the first person I've ever trusted this much." Harry says.

"Oh. I can see your struggle here mate. Let me tell you, he has fucking hearteyes for you Harry. I don't want you to stress, but you should really try to tell him." Liam says. Harry looks up at him with nervous eyes. "Just bite the bullet, do it over some scrabble or something. What can go wrong?"

"Exactly everything. But I can't let this go if I don't do it I guess. Thanks mate. I don't think I'm gonna do it for a while though. Need the perfect time for it."

Nodding, Liam smiles at him. "Take your time."

He waves Harry off, out of his room. He meets Louis in the hallway, almost bumping into him.

"Oh, sorry." Louis says.

His voice is stiffer than usual and Harry quirks an eyebrow.

"You okay?" Harry asks. 

Louis nods with a sigh. "Fuck, I. Yeah. Everything's good. I just have a lot on my mind. Not necessarily _bad_ things. Just, it's hard to process." 

Harry smiles at him, squeezing his shoulder.

"Alright. I'm in my room if you need to talk."

Louis lifts his gaze up, sending Harry a thankful smile before disappearing into his room. Harry walks into the kitchen, taking a glass of water. He always gets pretty anxious when people is hiding something from him. But this feels different for some reason. Like Louis really doesn't have anything bad on his mind, but he desperately wants to know what it is. It can't possibly be him having a crush on Harry, even if Liam himself did say so.

Liam probably just wants Harry to feel better about it, after all. He sighs, trying to get rid of that thought. Instead, he should be thinking of how to tell Louis. Not that he comes up with anything. Despite trying and trying for what feels like hours, Harry goes to bed still not knowing how he's supposed to do this. He should probably just tell Louis without a specific plan. Even if it seems hard. It's the most easy thing to do probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a lot of homework to do as school has started now so if i dont update a lot, thats why.

A couple of days pass until Harry finally decides - today has to be the day. He's waiting nervously for Louis to come into the livingroom with scrabble. His palms are sweating and he feels dizzy, but still manages sending Louis a smile when he sits down. He barely notices his moves, easily winning just like usual. Louis probably notices his nervousness though as he quirks his eyebrows a couple of times when Harry does something stupid he usually wouldn't.

"I, um. I wanted to talk to you about something." Harry mumbles, unsure of himself.

Louis smiles gently at him. "Alright."

Harry opens his mouth a couple of times, but can't get himself to speak.

A tear finds it way down his cheek. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I need to get outside for a moment. I'll be back soon. Just need some fresh air."

He gets up from the couch despite Louis' worried gaze, dragging a pair of sneakers on. It's colder than he'd thought it would be and he immediately regrets not bringing a jacket. There's luckily no wind by his usual spot by the bench. He takes a couple of deep breaths before looking up, to see Louis jogging down the stairs to the front door.

"Brought your jacket." Louis mumbles when he reaches Harry.

"Thanks." Harry says. "Sorry for leaving. I don't think I've even processed this, but I need to let you know I guess." He pauses and looks over at Louis. He's smiling gently at Harry, telling him to continue. "I, um. I think I like you Louis." It's quiet for a couple of seconds. "And I know you probably hate me which I'd understand-"

"Hey, stop." Louis says softly. Harry meets his warm gaze. "I don't hate you. You know the other night when you'd been in Liam's room?" Harry's eyes widen at the thought of Louis accidentally overhearing their conversation. "I didn't hear what you said, don't worry. But I obviously had something on my mind. You know, I realised a while ago I was kind of not so lowkey crushing on you and it just." He takes a quick pause. "Reality caught up on me I guess and I figured I needed to tell you, but I didn't know how. So I was kind of panicking. I like you too Harry."

Harry's stomach flips slightly and he locks eyes with Louis, smiling.

"Let's go home and continue talking. I'm cold."

"I literally gave you your jacket Harry! You could have put it on like a normal person!" Louis says. Harry's steps get slower. "Fuck, no, god I'm so stupid. Harry, I. I'm sorry. I forget not to be too harsh."

"It's alright." Harry says, catching up with Louis.

Smiling, Louis rubs Harry's back to warm him up slightly. Not that it necessarily does that, it kind of just makes Harry fall even more for him.

\- - -

Harry walks into his room with Louis close behind, sitting down on his bed.

"Fuck, it's cold here too." Harry whines. Louis just rolls his eyes. He sits down next to Harry. "You know, if you don't wanna go any further with us that's.. That's fine with me. You know how I am, I'll need a lot of time." 

Louis smiles, locking eyes with Harry. "I'm not going anywhere Harry. I'll wait for you, until the second you're ready for something more."

Harry pulls him in tightly for a hug. His face lights up in a smile as he snuggles his face into Louis' shirt. Louis rubs his back gently. When Harry pulls away, he lets his head rest on Louis' shoulder. Louis places an arm around his waist.

"Thanks." Harry mumbles.

He meets Louis eyes. Louis smiles gently down at him, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't necessarily need to, his warm gaze tells Harry he doesn't need to say thank you. It's a nice feeling, having someone next to him every day without having to question it even once. He sighs slightly.

"You know, when I got here I thought I'd be completely alone. I don't even think I _can_ repay you for everything. You saved me Louis."

"You don't need to do _anything_ to repay me Haz. You've helped me a lot too, after all." Louis mumbles, running a hand gently through Harry's curls.

Harry doesn't respond. He settles with placing his arms around Louis, hugging him gently. He's gonna have to do something. Louis deserves so much more than a thank you.

"Yeah. I know, it's just. You deserve more than me saying thank you." Harry mumbles.

Smiling, Louis hugs him tightly. "Thanks. I don't need anything, but if you insist I can't stop you can I?" Harry shakes his head as answer and Louis snorts slightly at him. "I should go get some sleep." He yawns.

Harry turns his head, smiling at Louis as he gets up.

"G'night Louis."

"Night." Louis smiles back.

Harry thinks about asking him to stay, but then quickly realises that he would probably panic. So he just does nothing about it, getting into bed as quickly as possible. Not that he falls asleep quickly. He's too caught up in melting down the evening. Louis liking him back was out of this world before he'd said it himself - Harry wasn't prepared. At all.

Now, he's trying to think of something else to be able to sleep. It isn't working. Sighing, he walks out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Of course, Louis is also on the way to the kitchen. Just what Harry needs. He really wants to hang around Louis, but he needs time to finish processing everything first. 

"Couldn't sleep either?" Louis asks softly. Harry shakes his head, getting a glass and filling it up with water. "Wanna watch something with me instead?"

He kind of wants to, but on the other hand he wont get to sleep faster because of it.

"Sure." He ends up saying, smiling of course because he's not able to control himself.

Louis smiles back. He waves at Harry to follow him into his room. It's lit up with soft lights, making it way too cosy. Louis gets his computer, sitting down close to Harry on his bed.

"Wanna watch some Homeland? It's alright if you want to do something else of course-" Louis starts.

Harry covers Louis' mouth with one of his hands. "I'd love to. As long as you don't panic because then I'll get stressed too. And that isn't good."

Louis just sends him a quick smile, turning on an episode of the show. A while in, Louis yawns and hugs Harry's arm gently. His head is resting on top of the Harry's shoulder.

"This okay?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah." Harry smiles.

It's not okay. It's perfect and he never wants to spend his time doing anything else, Harry thinks. But he doesn't say that part of it, it's better hidden away in his head for now. Until he's sorted his shit out.

\- - -

Harry can't help but stay in his room until the coast is clear and Louis is back in his room after eating breakfast the next morning. He needs some time on his own, before being able to continue building up whatever the hell is going on between him and Louis. Number one is coming out to his parents and that won't be the easiest. They aren't homophobic - they'll always be by his side and he knows that. Gemma already knows, she was the first one Harry ever told. She as well told him those three years ago that their parents won't have anything against it and he should just tell them straight away.

But then, he hasn't ever felt the _need_ to tell them. He's never in his life had a romantic relationship with someone, barely even friendships have been his thing. But now, that Louis is suddenly in the picture everything is so different. He can't just bring him home and tell them that Louis is his boyfriend, or what he will be when that time comes. Like, he can. But that would just be weird.

He needs to be out to them, not only because he won't be able to bring Louis home with him, but also because he's scared that their relationship is suddenly going to rush forward without his parents being with him when it gets hard. Because he is going to upset Louis at points, just as well as Louis is going to get him into hiding. He knows that and he'll definetely need his parents there to comfort him. Sighing, he gets up from his bed. He makes a cup of tea and a toast before sitting down by the table. 

When he walks back to his room fifteen minutes later, he almost walks into Louis. With a gentle smile, Louis softly grabs his arm to make sure Harry doesn't fall.

"Sorry." Harry mumbles.

Louis' thumb glides over the back of Harry's arm. "It's alright. Down for some scrabble today?"

"Yeah, sure. I just need to wake up first." Harry says, smiling slightly at Louis.

"Okay. You alright?" Louis asks.

Harry sighs. "Yeah. Life is just. A lot." Louis hugs him gently, letting his hand slide down to intertwine their fingers.

"D'you want to talk about it?" Louis asks.

He squeezes Harry's hand when the tall boy looks down.

"I mean, yeah. If you're not bothered." Harry mumbles.

Louis leads him over to his room. "Never."

His room isn't as cosy as last night. The small lights are replaces with the sun and over all it's less cosy with light than without.

'"What's going on Haz? You're not yourself at all." He says, sitting down on his bed with Harry right next to him.

Sighing, Harry leans his head on Louis' shoulder.

"I just, I'm not out to my parents. Because I never thought that I'd meet someone that would actually want me in their life. But then, yeah. I need to tell them and it really stresses me out."

"Don't stress about it. Does _anybody_ apart from me know?" Louis asks.

Harry nods. "Yeah. I told my sister a couple of years ago, and then Liam knows as well. I was panicking when I realised I was crushing on you, so I told Liam to get some guidance through my shit."

"Well, you're one step closer then. You know, I don't want you to stress about it for me if that's what you're thinking. I know I said it yesterday, but I'll wait for as long as I need to Haz." Louis says softly. It's like Louis sets butterflies free in Harry everytime he says Haz, and for some weird reason it's amazing. "And, don't worry about what your parents will think. You'll be fine no matter what."

"I know that they'll be perfectly fine with it. I've just bottled it up inside for so long and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell them now." Harry says.

Louis runs a hand gently through Harry's hair. "Take your time. Tell them when it feels right and not a second earlier. The last thing you need is more things to stress about."

"I know." Harry mumbles. "You promise you won't get tired of waiting for me sorting my shit out?"

"Promise." Louis says, giving Harry's hand a squeeze. Harry snuggles his face into Louis' shirt. "Wanna watch some homeland?"

Harry just nods, letting go of Louis' hand to let him go get his computer. As soon as Louis has turnt on the episode, he sits down next to Harry and takes his hand again.

"You okay with me doing this by the way?" He asks.

"Yeah." Harry smiles, locking eyes with Louis for a couple of seconds.

A spark sets free, reaching through his whole body. He looks away, focusing on Homeland instead. Louis rests his head on Harry's shoulder after a while, relaxing until someone knocks.

He lets go of Harry's hand with a little squeeze, lifiting his head up with a little smile. "Come in." He says.

Zayn opens the door, poking his head in. "We're going to get dinner at that chinese place, wanna join?"

Louis looks over at Harry who mouths ' _you decide'_ at him.

"Um, yeah. Sure. As long as you wont drag me out to get drunk." Louis says.

"We are going to some bar afterwards, but you can go home." Zayn shrugs. "We're leaving in twenty." 

Louis gives him a thumbs up, turning to Harry as soon as the door is closed.

"You alright with this? I'm not forcing you to go."

"I haven't been eating actually _good_ food for fucking months. Plus, it's never killed to be a little social." Harry shrugs. The episode of Homeland is over before he can even blink. "I don't think we'll have time for another episode. We can watch more later if you want to." Harry says. "Also, am I too underdressed to go to a restaurant? I probably am to be honest."

Sighing, Louis rolls his eyes. "No you're not. You look great Haz." He says, pinching Harry's cheek softly. Harry smiles at Louis, his cheeks flushed pink. "But, you should get a sweater unless you want to be cold."

"Yeah. I'll go see what I can find." Harry says, walking out of Louis' room.

He quicky finds a green hoodie that he drags on. When he turns around, Louis is leaning on the wall of his doorstep, causing him to jump slightly.

"Don't scare me like that!" 

"Sorry." Louis laughs. "Ready to go?"

Harry smiles at him. "Yeah."

He takes Louis' hand and gives it a squeeze before letting go of it again on his way out. Louis places a hand gently on Harry's back, following him out to the front door. The white sneakers are tempting Harry, but his chelsea boots win the game. They go perfectly with the green hoodie and tight black jeans.

They walk in silence to the chinese restaurant about ten minutes away from the flat and when they arrive, Harry and Liam go to find them a table while the others order. 

"Did you do something about, you know?" Liam says, tilting his head in Louis' direction.

Harry blushes slightly. "Um, yeah. I did. Guess you were right."

Liam smiles. "It went well in other words?" Harry nods. "Boyfriend good?"

"Oh, um. No. I don't think I'm ready for that commitment yet." Harry mumbles.

"Oh, okay. That's alright with him?" Liam asks.

"Yeah." Harry says, a smile appearing on his face.

Liam gives his shoulder a squeeze. "You'll be fine. Take your time to sort life out, I promise he'll wait for you."

He says just before Louis walks over to the table with a tray of food. He sits down on the chair next to Harry with a slight smile.

"I'm gonna go see if Zayn and Niall needs help." Liam says, getting up from his chair.

Harry looks down into the floor. Why is he here and not at home? It feels much safer in the flat, he's so stupid to go here.

"You okay Haz?" Louis asks quietly into his ear, taking Harry's hand to give it a squeeze.

"Uh, yeah." Harry mumbles.

Louis raises an eyebrow. "You sure?" Harry just nods, seeing that the others are coming back over to the table. "You can talk to me later if you want to." Louis says, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go.

Harry smiles quickly at him before going into complete silence for the rest of lunch.

\- - -

"Hazza, look at me." Louis says softly after closing the door.

Harry shakes his head in protest as a tear finds its way down his cheek. Louis sighs behind him.

"Please."

Harry just shakes his head again, walking over to his room. He doesn't bother closing the door, Louis would have opened it anyway. Louis, very well, walks into his room after a minute, closing his arms softly around Harry.

"I'm sorry." Harry mumbles.

Louis shakes his head slightly. "Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I do though. I always feel like shit and then you have to do something about it. You don't have to." Harry mumbles, but snuggles his face into Louis' sweater.

Sighing, Louis swings Harry's legs over his lap, hugging him even tighter.

"I know I don't have to. But I want to Harry, because I care about you. You shouldn't feel sorry about it."

Harry snuggles his face into Louis' shirt, letting tears stream down his face.

"It just feels like you always take care of me and then whenever you're down I just don't do anything about it."

"That's because I don't tell you when I'm down. The problem lies there, not in whether or not you're there helping me or not." Louis says, rubbing Harry's back gently. "I promise I'lll start talking more to you, alright? It isn't fair that I make you feel bad because I don't talk enough." Harry just nods with a slight sigh. He looks up at Louis, meeting his blue eyes. "Don't you dare say sorry again Harold."

"Fuck off." Harry mumbles, hiding his face back in Louis' shirt. Louis laughs, but doesn't say anything more. "Wanna do something?" Harry asks after a while.

"Sure." Louis says, smiling at Harry. "Scrabble?"

Harry meets his blue eyes again, this time with a smile. "Fine with me."

He untangles himself from Louis' arms, letting him go over to his room and get scrabble. He sits down on Harry's bed with a yawn when he enters again, setting the game up. 

"You tired?" Harry asks.

Louis nods. "Yeah. Didn't sleep too well. I was on my phone 'til like one am."

"Doesn't that seem like the best idea you've ever had." Harry teases him slightly, resulting in Louis punching his arm playfully. Harry gasps dramatically before joining in with Louis' laughing. "Let's start?" He then says.

Louis nods, starting up. Harry finds himself get lost in admiring Louis. His face of focus, one of the last times someone should be able to look absolutely stunning, might be one of the times Louis looks the best. Although, he definetely doesn't realise it. That just makes Harry get even more lost in the moment, he realises when it's his turn. Louis looks up after a while, meeting Harry's green eyes.

Smiling, he pokes at Harry's cheek. "Fantazising about me are you?" He teases, his voice soft.

"Shut up." Harry mumbles, blushing. He can't help himself as his face lights up with a slight smile. 

Louis laughs. "Never."

Harry ends up winning, even if he does lose focus due to Louis' constant teasing at points. He has definetely never been this happy for the last nine years of his life. Maybe not even before that. And honestly, it doesn't feel anything else than perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this took me a while to post, sorry about that. i haven't properly written for like two weeks now so i'm running out of chapters to post now, stress level is definetely niall in tattoo roulette haha
> 
> i'm going to try to write later today though! AND also, i will NOT stop posting until this fic is 100% finished, don't worry. 
> 
> ENJOY!

Louis' knock suddenly appears on his door. Harry jumps slightly, where he is sat in the corner of his room. He's curled into a ball, rocking back and forth on his bed.

"Come in." Harry mumbles, almost inaudibly. Louis must have heard though as he walks in with a package of crisps that he hands over to Harry. "You didn't have to-"

"You haven't eaten all day." Louis says, covering Harry's mouth. Harry shrugs, giving in and opening the package. Louis smiles at him, but it's not his usual warm and happy one. It's more sad. "Are you okay? You seem really off."

Harry shrugs again. "Just one of those days." Louis smiles, sitting down next to Harry as he continues. "Nothing out of the ordinary really."

"You promise?" Louis asks.

"Yeah." Harry nods.

Louis' worried face expression doesn't drop though and Harry lets the bag of crisps lie on his lap as he takes one of Louis' hands in both of his own.

"I promise. I really appreaciate you always caring about me Louis, but. I think I just need some space?" Louis nods, looking as if he could start crying as he gets up. "No, Louis. I didn't - that came out really wrong. I mean, I just need to think without you interrupting it? I want you to stay, just. We could just not talk about it right now?"

"Y-yeah. 'Course." Louis says, sitting back down. "What d'you wanna do then?"

Harry shrugs. "I don't care as long as you'll make me company." 

He's met with a smile from Louis. "Homeland?"

"Homeland it is." Harry smiles back.

"I'll go get my computer then." Louis says, getting up.

A tear finds it's way down Harry's dimpled cheek. He can't stop it from happening. Louis is just way too kind for the world, and he can't possibly be more happy to have him around.

"Why are you crying Haz?" Louis asks, quirking his eyebrows as he sits back down.

Still smiling, Harry shakes his head. "I, just, I'm so happy to have you around. Thank you. For just, sticking around I guess."

Louis doesn't respond at first, hugging Harry tightly. "No worries."

He starts the next episode of homeland and when he leans back, Harry hugs his arm gently and places his head on Louis' shoulder. They lock eyes for a moment and Louis smiles at Harry. Harry looks away, focusing his eyes on the computer and snuggles his face into Louis' shirt instead. 

\- - -

It's sent. Harry walks over to Louis' room, knocking shakily.

"Come in." Louis says. "C'mere Haz." He mumbles, seeing the panicked look in Harry's eyes. "What's up?" Harry sits down and Louis places his arms gently around the boy. 

Harry sighs. " _I came out to my parents."_ He whispers.

Louis runs a hand through his curls. "I see. Did you just text them?" Harry nods. "Alright. I can see why you're panicking. Did you leave your phone in your room?"

"Yeah. I don't know if I even want to know their answer. I'm scared Lou." Harry says.

"I know, I know." Louis mumbles. "It is really scary. I'm proud of you Haz. Even if they're not."

Harry looks up at Louis again with a slight smile. "You're way too good for this world."

"Stop it Styles, I'm not." Louis chuckles, cheeks flushing pink.

"That's your only flaw, you're not able to take compliments." Harry teases him with a wide grin.

He pokes Louis' cheek playfully, getting a smile in response.

Louis shrugs. "Not too used to them. I've only heard them from my mum really."

"Stop complaining, I didn't even get _that_ from my parents." Harry mumbles with a slight sigh. 

"Sorry." Louis says, his smile dropping.

Harry takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. "Hey, don't be." Louis doesn't say anything, smiling at Harry. 

"You should go get your phone though. If you don't, I will." Louis says. Harry looks away, shaking his head. "Alright, I'm gonna get your phone." Louis says.

True to his word, he walks over to Harry's room and comes back half a minute later with Harry's phone in his hand.

"Here you go, you have a text from your mum. It's good, Haz. Trust me."

Harry shakes his head. "I don't want to Louis."

Sighing, Louis places Harry's phone in his hand and makes him open it. The worried expression on Harry's face dissapears, returning as a smile instead when he looks back up at Louis.

"See? They're all equally as proud of you as I am." Louis says, returning a smile.

Harry leans into Louis' soft hug as soon as the short boy is sitting down. 

"Thank you Lou. I don't think I would've opened my phone without you, honestly." Harry mumbles, voice muffled against Louis' sweater.

Louis doesn't say anything. He rubs Harry's back gently. They stay silent for a while.

"I'm hungry. Wanna go somewhere and celebrate?" Harry asks.

Louis meets his green eyes and smiles. "Yeah, 'course. Where are you thinking?"

Harry smirks at Louis, poking at his cheek. "You'll see." He gets up, followed by Louis.

When he unlocks the door, Harry glances over at Louis who sends him a questioning look.

"I'm not going to tell you! You can give up already." Harry chuckles, walking out into the chilly night.

Louis sighs behind him, causing Harry to laugh.

"Please?" Louis pleads.

Harry spins around, walking backwards. "Never. Just follow me, alright?"

Louis rolls his eyes. "Fine. And also, you're gonna walk into a stone and trip." He says.

Harry smiles, turning back around.

"Thanks."

They continue walking for another ten minutes, reaching a chinese restaurant Harry's been longing to eat at for a couple of weeks now. He locks eyes with Louis who smiles at him.

"Did you like totally fucking plan this Styles?"

Harry laughs. "Actually, no. I've just been longing to eat here for weeks now, literally. So I figured that since we're celebrating, we could just go here. If you're okay with it, that is?"

"Yeah, just. Yeah, of course." He's still smiling at Harry, but he looks like he's trying his best to hide something.

"Lou?" Harry quirks an eyebrow.

"Let's just go inside." Louis mumbles, opening the door for them.

They order their food before finding a table by one of the windows. Harry grabs Louis' hands under the table.

"Seriously. Is there something bothering you?" He asks.

Louis shakes his head slightly. "It's, I mean it's nothing really. I wouldn't want to talk about it here at least."

"Okay. Promise to tell me if you need to talk, alright?" Harry says softly, giving Louis' hands a squeeze.

"Yeah." Louis says, looking up with a slight smile.

His eyes are watery, but Harry doesn't question him. It won't make any difference, Louis won't tell him anyway. He said so himself and Louis doesn't change when he's said something.

\- - -

"Haz?" Louis says, bumping gently into Harry's shoulder. 

Harry looks over at him with a gentle smile. "Yeah?" Louis is looking into the pavement, letting out a sigh. "Don't feel like you need to tell me anything. You don't. I don't want to pressure you to do it."

"I know, I know. I feel like I need to. Like, it's quite. Not complicated, but it's just. It's hard I guess? To talk about." Louis says.

He meets Harry's eyes. Harry just nods, but doesn't say anything to let Louis finish.

"You know how I told you I like to hide what I feel?"

"Yeah." Harry says, not letting go of Louis' blue eyes.

"Well, okay - I'm just gonna make this easy and not drag the whole backstory. I don't know if I've told you, but I'm really close with my mum." A tear finds it's way down Louis' cheek. "She's sick. Really sick, and I'm just so worried. I don't know if I'd survive without her." 

Harry places a comforting arm around Louis' shoulder. "I'm really, really sorry Lou. I don't know what to say, it'd be wrong to say that I understand how it feels because I don't. Just, I'm always here if you need to talk." 

Smiling slightly, Louis looks up at Harry with tears in his eyes. "Thanks. You're way too kind Haz."

"Stop Lou. I'm not. You deserve it. Promise to talk to me if you need to, alright?" He asks softly.

"Yeah." Louis mumbles. He sighs and tilts his head to rest it on top of Harry's shoulder.

"This proves how damn short you are. It shouldn't be possible to have your head comfortably on my shoulder while walking." Harry chuckles.

Louis glares up at him. "Maybe it's just that you're abnormally tall Styles." He snorts.

Harry laughs but keeps quiet for the last bit of the walk.

"Actually, I might need to talk a bit. I haven't been able to sleep for the past weeks." Louis says as they enter the flat.

Harry waves for Louis to follow him into his room. Humming slightly, Harry puts his long hair up in a messy bun.

"Alright then." Harry says with a slight sigh when he sits down. "Therapy session with Styles."

Smiling, Louis pokes at Harry's dimple. "Shut up Hazza."

He pauses for a while. Harry feels heat crawl up his neck. He's pretty used to Haz at this point, but there's something about the way Louis pronounces Hazza that he can't let go of.

"I don't even know what to say, I just. I don't know Harry." He looks up at Harry, a tear running down his cheek.

Harry smiles gently at him.

"Hey, c'mere Lou." He says, drying away the tear.

Louis places his legs over Harry's lap and closes his arms around the tall boy in order to snuggle his face into Harry's soft hoodie.

"I'm sorry." Louis says.

"Don't be." Harry mumbles softly, rubbing Louis' back gently.

"I just, I've lied so much to you Harry. Everytime I've said I've just been having a bad day or been listening to sad music it's - I haven't. And I feel terrible for not just telling you and-"

"Lou. Stop. You don't need to tell me everything. I understand that you feel bad, but I also understand that everything with. Your mum is just hard." Harry says.

He runs a hand through Louis' soft hair.

"Yeah. It is. I still feel really bad. I haven't been telling you the truth even _once_." Louis says quietly, wiping his tears away.

Harry tilts his chin up gently, meeting Louis' blue eyes.

"It's alright Lou. I promise. You're telling me right now and that's something, yeah?"

He's so damn close to Louis' face he can hear the shorter boys' breath on his face. Louis shakes his head slightly.

"Lou. I get that it's just hard for you to cope with everything right now and it's probably even worse than I can even _imagine_ , please don't put this pressure on yourself. You don't need it."

"I know. But I can't. It feels wrong to lie to you when you've been actually _trying_ to talk about it when you've struggled." Louis says, looking away.

He leans into Harry's chest, placing his head on Harry's shoulder.

"Lou, my problems haven't been my mum being ill right?" He says softly. Louis shakes his head slowly. "Exactly. That's why. It's easier to get rid of my easy problems, you can't just tell me that you're worried and boom, your mum is healthy and well in an instant. I understand that you haven't talked to me about it."

Louis closes his eyes with a slight sigh. "Yeah. You're right. I should get some sleep."

Harry runs a hand through Louis' hair, twisting it slightly around his finger. "Will you be able to?"

"I mean. No, probably not." Louis sighs.

"Stay here? I won't either if I know you're awake, feeling bad about things you shouldn't be feeling bad about." Louis opens his eyes, looking at Harry with quite a wondering look on his face. "I mean, I'm not forcing you." Harry mumbles, blushing slightly.

"I mean, sure. But will we really be able to fit two people into this bed?" Louis raises an eyebrow but doesn't let his eyes go anywhere but on Harry's face.

Harry shrugs. "Probably, it isn't _too_ small. Like I said, I'm not gonna for-"

"Shut it. I'll stay, but I'm gonna go get changed and brush my teeth." Louis says.

He lets his hand slip down to give Harry's hand a squeeze before he gets up. Harry yawns and gets up from where he's sitting, getting quickly changed into his pyjamas. When he walks over to the bathroom, Louis is walking into his room.

\- - -

When Louis walks into Harry's room twenty minutes later Harry is lying in his bed, phone in hand, curled up under his blanket. He turns his phone off when he hears the door creak open and flips around on his back, sending Louis a smile. Louis yawns, running a hand through his hair as he closes the door after himself.

He smiles slightly at Harry as he lies down. He lies down on his side, absolutely no further than ten centimeter between their faces. It sends some weird sparks in Harry's body, but he finds himself enjoying them. 

"You gonna be able to sleep?" Harry asks softly.

Louis smiles. "I think so, yeah."

He takes a pause and Harry notices his eyes flickering down at Louis' pink and slightly chapped lips. Would Louis think it's too soon if Harry kisses him right here and right now.

"Thanks for letting me stay."

Harry smiles back. "No worries. Would you mind turning the light on my bedstand on?" He asks.

Louis nods and turns it on while Harry turns the roof light off. His nose accidentally brushes against Louis' as he lies back down, causing him to feel like his head is burning bright red. Louis just smiles slightly at him.

If they were lying close before, there's no space between them now. He notices Louis glancing down on his lips for the shortest time the world could ever offer before opening his mouth. Blushing, he shuts it again immediately. Harry raises a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Nothing." Louis mumbles.

"I don't believe you a second." Harry teases softly, giving Louis stomach a poke.

Louis' intertwines their fingers, pushing Harry's hand away.

"I'm not forcing you to."

Harry snorts slightly. "What were you going to say Lou? You aren't getting away."

"You're rude. I'm not telling you as long as you're being rude curly." Lous teases him, with a hint of a soft tone in his voice.

Harry chuckles before looking at Louis with a sweet smile.

"Please, Lou? Would you tell me?"

"That's more like it." Louis laughs.

"Will you tell me now?" Harry asks, with the same smile on his face.

"You're so damn stubborn, you know that?" Louis teases, taking a pause. "It's cute." 

Harry blushes. "Why, thank you. That does mean you're gonna have to tell me though." 

Louis rolls his eyes.

"Maybe." He takes a pause, cheeks flushing red. "It's just, I feel like I'd pressure you into doing something you wouldn't want to." 

"You know you won't be able to Lou. Spill it." He says.

"Fine, I guess." He says, but then it's quiet. "Would it - it's okay if you say no, but like, would it be okay if I kiss you?" Harry feels heat crawl up his neck.

It's weird. He wants to, but he can't get a single word out of his mouth.

"Fuck, you probably think I'm weird or something now, I'm so-"

Harry doesn't let Louis go any further as he connects their lips softly, letting his hand let go of Louis' and sliding up to his waist. When Louis pulls away, it's with a smile.

"Sorry, I- I was unable to speak." Harry chuckles.

Louis runs his fingers through Harry's hair.

"S'alright." He smiles, looking into Harry's eyes. "We should probably sleep now though."

"Yeah. Night Lou." Harry says softly, smiling.

"Goodnight." Louis says, pressing a quick kiss to Harry's forehead before turning around. "Sorry, am I allowed to do that?"

He turns back around.

Harry chuckles. "Yeah. Night." 

Smiling, Louis turns back around. "Goodnight Hazza."

_Hazza._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

"Haz." Louis mumbles softly into Harry's ear, shaking the boy softly to wake him up.

Harry groans, opening his eyes. He meets Louis' eyes and can't help himself as he smiles.

"Morning, sleepyhead. I made you breakfast."

"Thanks." Harry mumbles.

Smiling, Louis kisses his cheek gently. It sends sparks loose in Harry, despite the fact that he just woke up a minute ago. He gets up and drags a hoodie on on top of his t-shirt. When he walks out to the kitchen, Louis is sitting on a chair. There's a plate of pancakes stood on the table.

"How are you up so damn quickly in the morning?" Louis asks, smiling at Harry.

Harry shrugs.

"Heard something about breakfast which I just so happen to like quite a lot." Louis chuckles as Harry sits down opposite of him by the table. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay." Louis smiles. Harry freezes slightly. Are the others still there to hear them? "Hey, take it easy Hazza. They already left. We're alone here."

Harry breathes out. "Good. No worries. I don't think I've slept this well for the last ten years." He chuckles.

"I'm a very good influence." Louis says.

"I mean, I don't know about that. But it was nice to have you there. I don't sleep good a lot of the time, I'm really anxious in the dark."

Louis smiles. "No worries at all Hazza." Harry feels heat crawl up his neck.

Luckily, his hair is let loosely hanging over his shoulders, covering it up slightly - he hopes at least.

"Also, I have a load of homework. Mind helping me out a bit?"

"Yeah, 'course." Harry says.

He looks up at Louis, locking eyes in silence for a couple of seconds. Louis' clear blue eyes are terribly easy to get lost in, they're almost like an ocean. There's always something new to explore. When the front door unlocks, Harry looks away with bright red cheeks.

"Morning Harry." Liam says as he walks into the kitchen, not sending a single glance towards him. 

"Good morning." Harry mumbles, pulse rising.

He can't tell whether or not he's still blushing and it's freaking him out. Louis obviously notices, he can't hide _anything_ for Louis literally, and gently lets his knee touch Harry's to comfort him slightly. Harry feels sparks in his body at the sudden touch, smiling slightly at Louis. 

"Aren't the others with you?" Louis asks, looking over to Liam.

Liam shakes his head, leaning against one of the counters.

"They wanted to go to some pre-party and I'm not really in the mood today. So I went home instead." Louis gives him a slight nod. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower."

He says, leaving the kitchen.

"You need to relax Harry." Louis mumbles softly when Liam's left.

Harry nods.

"I know. It's just, I don't know. It's scary."

Louis meets his eyes.

"What's scary?"

"I guess just, everyone finding out about us before I'm ready." Harry mumbles, tears creeping up on him. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I get that it's scary. It'll work out somehow. When you're ready for it to. I'll wait Haz, don't rush yourself." Louis says softly.

Harry looks up at him with a slight smile.

"I won't." Louis smiles back but doesn't say anything. "You don't have to wait for me to finish my breakfast if you don't want to though."

"I know." Louis chuckles. "Don't really have anything better to do though. I'll leave if you wan-"

"Louis." Harry glares at him over the table. "I said, if _you_ want to you don't have to stay. Not _I_ don't want you to stay."

Louis opens his mouth, but Harry interrupts before he even has time to respond.

"Don't say sorry."

Louis laughs. "Shut up."

Harry finishes his breakfast in silence, listening to Louis rant about how much he hates his homework. He sighs when he gets up.

"Well, it sure does sound like we have a lot to do then. I'll get ready and then I'll help you out."

"Thanks." Louis says with a smile, helping Harry out with putting away the dishes.

Harry goes to get changed into a pair of sweatpants and a purple hoodie, putting his hair up in a neat bun and brushing his teeth before getting his homework and knocking on Louis' door.

"Come in." Louis says.

He's sitting with his phone, with a weird look on his face. Harry closes the door, quirking his eyebrows slightly when Louis still doesn't say anything or look up at him. "You okay?" He asks. Louis shakes his head slowly, handing his phone over to Harry.

**Phoebe: Would you be able to come home for the weekend? Mum's gotten worse and we'd need some help with the twins.**

Harry shuffles closer to Louis, hugging him tightly as tears start rolling down Louis' cheeks. 

"I don't know what to do Harry. I want to go home, but then everything will just get so. Real?" Louis mumbles, snuggling his face into Harry's face, making it wet.

"Yeah. I think you should go home, it'd probably be easier for you to be closer to your family. Don't listen to what I think though, do what you want to do." Harry says while rubbing Louis' back gently. 

Louis sighs. "I probably should, honestly. I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to even get there in the first place. I don't have money for a train ticket and dad will definetely not leave to get me a ride."

"I think my mum's in town for the weekend actually. I could ask her if you want me to?"

\- - -

Harry's been sat on his bed for majority of the day, studying. He feels his body tensing up for no reason in particular and jumps out of bed. Yawning, he makes his way to the front door. He spots Louis in the kitchen and pokes his head in.

"My mum'll drive you home Saturday, forgot to say. Uh, is nine am okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, that's okay. Going outside?" Louis smiles.

"Nah, just gonna stand here with my shoes on like an idiot. Go check the bench if I'm not inside in two hours, I don't trust myself with time."

"'Course." Louis says.

"Thanks."

With a wave, Harry disappears through the door. He strolls down to the park and walks around for a bit before sitting down by his bench. His life is a true mess. Studying is terrible, he can't bring himself to do _anything_ and he can't exactly ask Louis to distract him. There isn't anything to be distracted from in the first place. Which, honestly might be part of the problem. How the hell that makes _any_ sense at all is very unclear, but for some reason it just does.

What also doesn't make sense is when he looks up from the little path and the sun is setting. It can't possibly already be that late, can it? He picks his phone up to check the time. He's been here for an hour. Sighing, he gets up from the bench to walk inside. There's a small note on the table.

_I made pasta, there's some left if you want /Louis :)_

Harry smiles to himself. The pasta is still warm so he doesn't have to warm it up. He sits down by the table, scrolling through twitter while he eats. When the door to Louis' room suddenly opens, he almost jumps out of the chair. Louis doesn't notice him as he walks straight over to the bathroom, phone in hand. Harry snorts at him, not knowing whether he should be happy or sad. 

"You're back!" Louis says with a smile when he enters the kitchen a couple of minutes later. 

"Hm? Yeah. Thanks for the food." 

"Oh, no worries. I was going to check if you were still out, but you're not. So I guess I'll just go back to youtube instead."

"Wanna play some scrabble later?" Harry asks.

"Sure." Louis smiles before walking back into his room.

Harry lets out a small sigh. He picks his phone back up, finishing his pasta while watching some food tutorials. When he's done, he puts his hair up in a bun and walks over to Louis' room, knocking on his door softly.

"Come in." Louis says. 

When Harry walks in, he's sitting on his bed which is covered in textbooks.

"You look like you could use a break." Harry laughs.

"Yes please. Scrabble?" 

"Sure. Also, you don't happen to have another one of those painkillers you gave me the first day here?"

"I think so. Want me to get you one?"

"If you're not bothered." Louis shrugs.

Without another word, Harry gets up and walks over to his room. The package of painkillers are in the exact same place as last time he'd given Louis one. He really is way too organized sometimes. 

\- - -

He yawns as he's once again won over Louis, third time in an hour. His phone buzzes and he picks it up, thinking it's his mum or Gemma, they usually text him. But this time, it's Mitch. His stomach drops as he reads it.

**Mitch: hey i just wanted to say that im not going to be bothered with you when i go home if youre there. im over our friendship, youre so fucking toxic man. you always bring me down with you when youre feeling bad. take this as a goodbye, you dont have to bother answering.**

Harry doesn't. Louis grabs his phone just as it's about to drop to the floor.

"Shit. Harry, he's wrong. I'm so sorry. Look, he's obviously not worth your time. Try to just forget him."

"You don't fucking understand. You can't just suddenly forget about the first person ever to be your friend, Louis." 

He gets up, walking out of Louis' room without even bothering to get his phone back. It doesn't matter. Plus, Mitch's goodbye message is on there and he doesn't want anything to do with it.

His phone slides in under the door after a couple of minutes but Louis doesn't bother coming inside. Which is good. Harry won't talk to him in the first place. In fact, he won't talk to anyone at all if he doesn't necessarily have to.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that when I've written a chapter, it'll be published immediately. It will in other words be really irregular, which I hope is okay.
> 
> Also, I think that there are going to be 21 chapters for this. I might end up changing it, but that's about where we're getting!

Harry hasn't talked to Louis once for the past four days. It's starting to get harder, not letting himself go over to Louis' room. That's why that is exactly what he's doing right now. His mum is coming over tomorrow and it's going to be really weird if he hasn't talked things through with Louis before it. He knocks with a shaky breath on Louis door.

"Come in." Louis mumbles. His face lights up slightly when Harry walks in. He's got dark circles under his eyes, shooting worry loose in Harry.

"Hey. I'm sorry. Really sorry. I should have talked to you instead of hiding. Sorry." Harry mumbles, sitting down.

Louis smiles at him, putting away his phone. "You know. I want to say it's alright, but it kind of isn't. I've been really worried about - well us if I'm gonna be honest."

"Me too Lou. Let's just talk it through. I feel terrible honestly." Louis opens his mouth but Harry stops him. "Let me finish. Everything's a lot for you with your mum and all without me making everything worse by not talking to you. It was wrong of me to just hide away."

Louis shakes his head. "You had your reasons. I fucked up, I should've known better. I'm not mad at you Harry, it's just, a lot. I get it if you're mad at me."

Harry meets his eyes, smiling. "I'm not. I don't think I can be mad at you when you look this tired."

"Do I look _that_ terrible?" Louis sighs.

"Not terrible. Just like you haven't been sleeping enough." Harry says softly.

"I haven't." Louis mumbles. "Haven't been doing anything enough. I can't recall the last time I ate a proper meal. It's a lot."

Harry nods. "I know. Actually, no. I don't. But I want us to at least go back to how we were before we both properly fucked up. Are you with me?"

"Yeah. I need you Harry. I- honestly I don't think I'm gonna make it through this without you." Louis says.

"C'mere Lou." Harry says. Louis gets closer, finding himself tangled up in Harry's arms before he can even blink. "You don't have to."

Louis looks up into Harry's eyes. "Thank you Haz." Harry sends him a warm smile. "Could we like, leave this behind us now? I don't need more struggles in my life right now."

"Yeah." Harry nods, still smiling as he looks into Louis' clear blue eyes.

They're almost way too close and Harry can feel Louis' breath against his face. The always so clear blue eyes, Harry can now see actually has spots of slightly green colour. He hesitates, but as Louis' eyes flicker down to his lips Harry softly leans in to kiss Louis gently.

He feels Louis hand gently move up to his chin, sending shivers up Harry's spine. Louis pulls away for a second, his blue eyes glittering with joy as he smiles gently at Harry before leaning back in. Harry smiles against Louis' lips. When Louis pulls away again, he snuggles into Harry's hoodie with a slight sigh. Harry meets his eyes with a smile on his lips that he can't seem to drop.

\- - -

Harry yawns where he's sat on the couch just as there's a knock on the front door. He gets up and unlocks the door.

"Hey sweetie! How you doing?" Anne asks, hugging him tightly.

Harry sighs. "Come in mum. I told you yesterday, I'm doing perfectly fine."

"I know, I know. Your mood switches quite often." She laughs.

"Shut up." Harry mutters. "You want a cup of tea?"

She smiles at him. "If you'd like to make me some." She says.

Harry shrugs. "I think there's some left." He says. There's just enough left in the teapot for him to pour it up in a cup, handing it over to Anne with a slight smile.

"Thank you." Anne says. Harry doesn't say anything, moving his gaze as the door to Louis' room opens. He walks over to the bathroom and Harry sits down by the table with a slight sigh.

"Anyway. How's Gemma doing?" He asks.

"She's doing very well. Robin's a bit tired of her always wanting to take pictures everywhere we go though." She laughs.

Harry nods. "I can see that very clearly. Robin's good other than that?" He asks.

"Yeah, doing just fine. Barbara misses you in the bakery."

"You met Barbara? And didn't tell me about it?" Harry teases her.

Anne laughs. "I forgot about it. She's doing well, but they're too little staff in the bakery and you know how it is, not too easy to find someone wanting to work part-time in a small bakery in Holmes Chapel." 

He grimaces slightly. "Yeah. It's terrible. I hope they find someone, they won't be able to make it in the long run just the three of them."

"I know." She shakes her head. "Anyways, how's your studying going?"

"Just fine." He shrugs. "It's not too hard yet."

She nods. "That's good. Have you taken some free days? You know it isn't good for you to study all day long Harry."

"I've been forced to take some days off." Harry sighs slightly.

"I like that idea. It's good for you to think about something else." She says. Harry hears footsteps coming from the hallway and turns his head just as Louis walks around the corner.

"See? I told you it isn't good for you to always study, even your mum says so." Louis teases him.

"Shut it." Harry protests.

Anne laughs.

"Well, it is good to have friends that care about you enough to realise stuff like that." She says, ruffling Harry's hair.

To call Louis his "friend" for some reason feels wrong. Not that they're actually in a relationship, he can't call Louis his boyfriend. But still, they are more than friends and he can't exactly get away from the fact.

"Are you two both done to get going boys?" Anne asks after finishing her tea.

Harry nods, looking over at Louis. He meets his blue eyes and looks away. It's not that there's a problem with it, but he can't exactly control whether or not he blushes and he can't bare with his mum noticing. Not today at least.

"I'm done, just need to get some bags from my room." Louis says, getting up from where he's sitting.

"D'you want help?" Harry asks.

Louis stays silent for a couple of seconds before nodding slightly. "If you're not bothered." Harry gets up without saying anything else, following Louis into his room. "Admit it, you just wanted an excuse to be with me without your mum." Louis teases him.

"Shut up." Harry mumbles, blushing slightly.

"M'not bothered." Louis shrugs. "Would you still be able to take that yellow bag?" He asks, pointing to one of the corners of his room.

Harry nods. "Sure." He says with a smile. Louis' grabs his hand just as he's passing by the shorter boy. Harry stops, looking into Louis' eyes.

"Also." Louis says, pulling Harry closer to him with a slight smirk.

He gets up on his tiptoes, connecting their lips softly. Harry smiles as he pulls away. Louis isn't slow to smile back.

"Get that damn bag now so your mum won't have to wait."

Harry rolls his eyes, wanting to protest but he can't find the right words to do so. When he passes by Louis again, Harry takes his hand to give it a squeeze before letting go of it again. 

They get down to Anne's car, Harry gets into the back seat with Louis. Anne doesn't question it, she's already found that their so-called friendship is strong, making her understand. Partly, that is. She still only knows about a third of it all. The secret kissing and cuddling is still to be kept a secret, as well as them both caring endlessly about the other. Harry finds himself smile, realising how much Louis means to him. He really is more than Harry would ever have been able to dream about. 

"Harry's being nice to you, Louis?" Anne asks a couple of minutes in, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, you raised him well." Louis says. "He has a couple of quirks-"

"Rude." Harry mutters, making both Anne and Louis laugh.

"But it doesn't matter." Louis says.

Harry glares at him for a moment before looking over to his mum as she speaks again.

"Well, I'm glad he's behaving somewhat well. What is it your studying for?" She asks, meeting Louis' eyes for a second in the rearview mirror.

"Uh, political science." Louis says.

Anne whistles slightly.

"I've always found stuff like that so hard to understand, might just be me." She laughs slightly.

"Well, it was quite hard to get into. But it's getting easier." Louis answers.

"How's lawyer stuff working out for you Harry?"

"Oh, god. It's terrible." Harry sighs. "It's getting more complicated the further into term I get."

Louis laughs at him, Anne joining in with a slight huff.

"You're not giving up I hope?" She asks with a bit of a teasing tone.

"Hell no. It's interesting. Just terribly, terribly hard." Harry says. Anne just nods, not saying anything else.

A while in, she parks the car outside of a gas station.

"I'm gonna go inside and buy some washer fluid, do you two want anything?" Anne asks.

"I don't need anything." Harry says with a slight shrug.

"I'm alright, thanks." Louis says. "Depends on what subject we're on about." He then mumbles quietly.

With a slight sigh, Harry reaches out and grabs Louis' hand gently. "D'you want to talk?" 

Louis nods. "Yeah. I just, I can't stop thinking about mum. Mostly about what happens if she doesn't make it through this. Who is going to take care of my other siblings? It's not like anyone will be able to do that effortlessly. And I'll be at college so I wouldn't be able to help out at all." 

"It'll be okay. Whatever happens, you'll find a solution to it." Harry says, wiping away a tear from Louis' cheek. "If it gets too hard, I'm always here to help you Lou."

"You don't need to-" Louis says but stops when he sees Harry glare over at him. "Thanks Haz."

"No worries." Harry gives Louis' hand a squeeze before letting go of it when Anne walks back outside to the parking lot. "Talk to me whenever you need to."

Louis just nods silently as Anne opens the car door.

"Let's get going again then." She says with a slight sigh, starting up the car. "Sorry it took a while, Gemma called me so I had to wait a while to actually get into the queue."

"It's alright." Harry says. 

\- - -

Two hours later, they arrive to Doncaster. Louis' gotten more and more quiet the closer they've gotten. They're now pulling into a parking lot close to his house and Louis looks like he's about to start crying.

"I kind of need to buy some things, but you can go. There's no need to wait for me." Anne says.

"Okay." Harry says.

She waves slightly at them, walking off to the grocery store a couple of hundred metres away.

"You okay Lou?" Harry asks softly. Louis shakes his head, letting a tear fall down his cheek.

"I- I don't know how I'm gonna be able to be here for two days alone with my family and feel like shit and then I need to go back to London and feel even more like shit." Louis says.

"I'm not gonna leave my phone for a second if you need me." Harry places a hand gently on Louis' back.

Louis stays silent for a while, like he's thinking about something. "Harry?" He then says weakly.

"Yeah?" Harry answers, meeting Louis' blue eyes.

"Can you stay here?" 

"I mean, do you want me to?" Harry answers. Louis nods. "I want to but I don't have _anything._ "

"We probably have some pyjamas and a toothbrush you could borrow." Louis shrugs.

"That feels wrong though. I could ask my mum to get me a toothbrush and some clothes for now. I don't wanna be a burden for your family. You already have a lot to think about."

"You wouldn't be a burden Haz. But if it makes you feel better I'm not stopping you." Louis says with a shrug.

Harry picks his phone up, sending a quick text to Anne. She responds quickly that she'll fix it and by the time Harry slides his phone back into his pocket, he hears someone call Louis' name. He looks up to see two girls, about 10 years old run up to them. Louis jogs over the street, crouching down to greet them in a hug.

"Hey girls. This is Harry." Louis says, looking up to Harry with a smile on his face.

"Hi Harry!" The two girls say at the same time.

"I'm Daisy!" The taller one says.

"And I'm Phoebe!" The other girl says.

"Hi!" Harry smiles at Daisy and Phoebe, who grabs one of Louis' hands each, dragging him into the garden to show him something.

Louis looks at Harry, mouthing at him to follow. Harry chuckles slightly, but walks into the garden. It's small and looks like nobody's been taking proper care of it for some weeks now. The grass is just above his ankles and the beautiful flowers looks dried out. Louis is stood right behind Daisy and Phoebe who is showing him a birdhouse.

It's bright yellow, doesn't really fit into the garden but it's very well made. Without a word, Daisy and Phoebe looks at each other and giggles before running inside. Louis looks around the garden with a sigh.

"I hate seeing the garden like this."

"I get that." Harry says. "It looks like it's been really beautiful."

"Yeah. It was. Mum's been the only one to care for it and now she doesn't have the energy to. I guess no one else does either." Louis shrugs.

"Daisy and Phoebe looks to have it." Harry chuckles.

"They do, but they also can't in any world take care of _anything._ " Louis says.

"How old are they?" Harry asks, trying to get Louis' mind on something a little better.

"Twelve." Louis answer, turning his head when the door opens. "Lots!"

He says, walking over to high-five a girl, looking to be around their age.

"The Tomlinson twins said your friend is here, had to go say hi." She says, with what looks like a teasing smile.

For some reason, it makes Harry's life flash before his eyes. Has Louis told them anything about them? He's probably just being paranoid, so he shakes the thought off as Lottie reaches out to shake his hand.

"Hi, Harry." Harry says.

"Lottie." She smiles at him. "Nice to meet you. I'm gonna go inside, Doris and Ernest needs food." She grimaces.

"Want any help?" Louis asks.

"Louis, you have a friend over. I'm not gonna force you to-"

"I came here to help you, not stand like a fucking idiot in the garden." Louis says, his voice irritated. 

It almost makes Harry shocked. Sure, he's seen Louis annoyed before. But his voice hasn't been this intimidating. Which, well, it kind of is. Louis isn't the first person you'd think could be intimidating but apparently he can.

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry. You can help me if you'd like to."

"Harry!" Daisy runs out of the house. "Can we braid your hair?"

"Sure!" Harry says, smiling. 

She tugs at his sleeve for him to follow. Laughing, he quickly gets his shoes off before following her upstairs.

"Sit down." Daisy tells him. 

He sits down on the floor, waiting while the twins finds some hairties, bows and hairclips. They divide his hair up in two before silently starting. His hair isn't too well combed through, causing him to grimace from the pain at points. He doesn't mention it though, just goes along with it. When they're done Harry walks out into the garden, meeting a laughing Louis.

"I look terrible don't I?" Harry sighs slightly.

"Never." Louis smiles.

He walks up to Harry, making his breath hitch slightly. Louis gets up on tip toes, moving a couple of hair clips around.

"There you go Haz." He smiles.

"Honestly, you probably made it even worse." Harry pokes his nose just as his phone vibrates. "Wait a second, mum's here to drop off some things for me."

Louis nods at him, smiling slightly. Harry walks over to the gate, getting a toothbrush and some clothes Anne had been nice enough to get him. He says goodbye quickly before walking back to Louis.

"D'you want me to do anything?" Harry asks.

"Uh, not right now. If you want to we can put that up in my room?"

"Yeah, sure." 

Harry follows Louis up into a small room, knowing that Louis isn't actually planning on Harry getting his stuff up here. Louis lies down on his bed with a sigh.

"I feel terrible." He mumbles. 

Smiling gently at him, Harry sits down next to him. He runs a hand through Louis' hair.

"I know Lou, I know."

Louis turns his head to look up into Harry's eyes with a slight smile.

"Cuddles?"

"Styles' cuddle service is here just for you." Harry smiles gently.

Chuckling, Louis sits up. He places his head on Harry's shoulder and laces their fingers together with a sigh. There's a knock on Louis door and he instantly moves away from Harry's side.

"Come in." He says. 

"Hi. Pheebs said you've got a friend over, had to come say hi." 

Louis rolls his eyes slightly. The man who turns out to be Louis' dad, or actually stepdad, introduces himself as Mark before heading out again. As soon as the door is closed, Louis moves back into the same position as before. 

\- - -

"Dinner's ready boys." There's a tired voice outside of Louis' room.

"Coming." Louis says, looking down at his feet.

"Lou?" Harry says softly, trying to get his attention.

Louis just gets up, hugging Harry tightly. Harry rubs his back gently.

"Oh Lou." He mumbles.

"I'm sorry." Louis says, drying away a tear. "It's just, I don't know, it just feels like it's worse than dad's told me it is."

"It's okay. Don't be sorry. I'm here if you need anything. Let's go?"

Louis nods silently. Harry presses a kiss to his forehead before they walk downstairs. A woman, looking like a copy of Louis smiles at them both. Or actually, Louis is probably a copy of _her_. 

"Hi boys! You must be Harry?"

"That's me." Harry smiles.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jay." She says before turning around towards Mark, starting to carry the food outside.

"D'you need help with anything?" Louis asks.

"I guess you could bring something with you out to the table. Don't care what though." Jay shrugs.

"Alright." Louis nods. Harry starts walking but stops when Louis' hand slides into his. "Haz?"

"Hm?" He turns around, squeezing Louis' hand.

"Thanks for always being here."

"No worries Lou." Harry smiles.

Louis quickly glances around them before kissing Harry's cheek gently.

"Let's get going. Mum'll suspect something otherwise."

Chuckling, Harry nods. He gives Louis' hand a little squeeze before letting go of it.

\- - -

"You are way too fucking good at making perfect impressions on people Harold." Louis sighs. "Can I have some of that?"

"One - I am not. Two, you didn't make such a bad impression on me did you?"

"Uh, yes I did what are you talking about? I literally upset you in our _second_ conversation."

"Oh. Forgot about that." Harry laughs. "I like you anyway."

Harry smiles from the mattress next to Louis' bed. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but doesn't. Instead, he just blushes.

"Hazzaaa. Now I wanna know what you were going to say for gods sake." Louis says, poking at Harry's cheek.

Not once, but twice. But then actually like ten times until Harry rolls his eyes, lacing their fingers together to stop Louis. 

"Pleeease?" Louis says.

"You're ridicoulous." Harry laughs, locking eyes with Louis. "I mean. Fuck, how do I even say this? Look, you know how you said you'll wait forever for me to be ready for, whatever is going on between us?" Louis nods, still looking into Harry's eyes. "You don't need to."

"I already told you, I wa-"

"No, I mean it. You _literally_ don't have to wait for me another second." Harry smiles.

"Where are you going with this?" 

"Lou, would you be my boyfriend?"

"I mean, like, are you sure?" Harry nods. "Of course Hazza." Louis smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

"Ready to go home Lou?" Harry shakes the sleeping boy gently to wake him up.

"Go away." Louis mutters, turning his back towards Harry.

"Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, Louuuu!" Harry teases him, teasingly moving his face closer to Louis. 

"Fuck off, gonna break up if you don't stop." 

"I'm sure you will." Harry laughs. "Come on, Jay made pancakes."

"Did she actually?" Louis asks, turning around with a smile. Harry nods. "Sign me the hell up." 

He jumps out of bed, leaving a quick kiss on Harry's cheek before running downstairs.

"Ookay." Harry says surprisedly, raising his eyebrows.

"You coming or what?" Louis asks, looking at him from the stairs.

"Chill out." 

He jogs down to Louis, laughing. 

"Morning boys!" Jay smiles. "Take a seat, I'm gonna wake up the girls. Also, would you mind getting some toppings and stuff? You know the usual stuff Louis."

"Yeah, of course." Louis says before turning his head to Harry. "Would you get some jam from the fridge?"

Harry nods, opening the fridge and looks through it quickly. He finds the jar of jam, placing it on the table. When he turns around, Louis is desperately trying to reach a mug.

"Need help there?" Harry asks teasingly. Louis just glares at him. "I'll take that as a yes."

He laughs, easily grabbing one for Louis. Sighing, Louis rolls his eyes as he takes the mug from Harry's hands.

"Thanks." He says quietly.

"You don't need to say it if you don't mean it rude man."

"Oh, I'm rude am I?"

"Definetely." Harry smirks.

Huffing a laugh, Louis looks around quickly before leaning in to kiss Harry softly.

"Still rude?" He mumbles against Harry's lips.

Harry connects their lips quickly. 

"Absolutely. But also a tad bit cute." He admits.

"You absolute sap." Louis pokes his cheek, smiling sweetly.

"You're risking a lot right now Lou."

"Fuck, sorry." Louis says, backing away from Harry.

"No, I'm alright with it. Just reminded you in case you weren't."

"Yeah, thanks. Anyway, we can sit down while we wait."

"Uh, yeah. Of course." Harry says.

He sits down next to Louis silently, shocked by how quickly he had snapped out of his cute and romantic persona and back to the snappy and sassy one. He sighs slightly, not caring about Louis' raised eyebrow. Harry isn't the one acting weird. Or, he is now. But he didn't start it. That's on Louis. 

\- - -

There's a knock on Louis' door just as they've finished packing down the few things they'll need to get back to London. Harry and Louis looks up at the door in synchronisation, met by a warm smile from Jay.

"Your mum is here Harry. Can I have a word with you before you go, Louis?" She asks.

Her expression turns into one more serious as she looks over to Louis. It makes Harry's stomach tug in a weird way, it doesn't sit right with him.

"I can, um, go wait with my mum." He says, grabbing his little bag before walking downstairs.

He's immediately called out to the garden by Phoebe and Daisy. Smiling at them both, he crouches down to hug them gently.

"Goodbye Harry!" They say before running off again.

"Bye!" He laughs slightly.

When he looks up again, Lottie is smiling at him.

"Hey, thanks for helping out. It's not what you'd expect from someone to just jump in and do something like that." She says.

"No worries at all. It was quite nice to leave London for once too, I don't mind helping out."

He walks over to where she's sat in the little sofa.

"You're nice. Probably my favourite of Louis' friends actually." She laughs. "Take care of him for me. He's really worried about mum."

She looks up at him. Harry nods, running a hand through his hair.

"I will." He says quietly just as Louis walks out into the garden.

He meets Harry with the slightest smile.

"Ready to go then?" Louis asks, turning to Lottie when he nods. "Bye Lots. Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"As long as you call _me_ if you need anything too. Talking to Harry counts too." She smiles.

Harry bites his lip to hold his laughter as a hint of pink emerges on Louis' sharp cheekbone.

"Yeah, sure. Bye." He says.

"Goodbye!" She says, waving them off.

As they reach the other side of the building Harry glances over at Louis. He looks up at Harry, locking eyes for a moment. Harry sends him a smile before opening the gate, letting him through first before closing it after them both again. He waves at his mum, smiling. She smiles back, getting out of the car.

Still with a smile she hugs Louis before walking over to Harry, hugging him aswell. He catches Louis' eye over Anne's shoulder. His expression is happy, yet really confused. It almost makes Harry let out a laugh but he manages not to. 

"Ready to go boys?" Anne asks.

They both nod and hops into the car without another word. Phoebe and Daisy are stood by the front door with Mark, waving at them as they leave. With a smile, Harry closes his eyes as they drive off. He's tired. More tired than in a long time. It's been good to get away from London for sure, but then he's been occupied with Phoebe and Daisy for two days. It's a lot of energy to contain.

"Harry's off in his own world again." He can hear Anne laugh.

"Nah, just tired." He protests quietly.

Louis and Anne laughs at him, but doesn't bother arguing. He lets his head fall back onto the headrest. With a sigh, he glances over at Louis. He's already looking at Harry. They lock eyes and sends each other a small smile before looking away. It makes something tug in Harry's chest. Not in a good way. He needs to tell her somehow. It's terrible not not be able to be around Louis like he wants to, just because his mum is in the same car as them.

She's probably already noticed anyway. Harry can't hide anything from her. Plus, he isn't good about hiding his feelings for people. Or it's just that nobody has ever cared about him, liked him the way Louis does. And he just _can't_ stop smiling because of it. A smile appears on his face and he bites his lip, picking his phone up. He just needs something to focus on for a while that isn't Louis.

\- - -

He manages the whole car ride home without either panicking or revealing how in love he is with Louis. The whole plan for telling his family is already built up in his head but he can't do it when Louis is around. He'll do it some other time when his mum is around. Only problem is that he always tells himself that he's going to do something but last minute gets too scared and pulls out again.

Honestly if he thinks about it, being so honest, vulnerable and showing Louis so much of himself hasn't ever happened before. He's actually extremely shocked that he's managed to work things out between them along with Louis and not just in his head, in the dreams that never happens.

"Okay, you've been thinking Harold." Louis says, snapping him out of his thoughts as soon as they're in Harry's room.

"If you say so."

Harry shrugs with a teasing smirk on his lips.

"You're ridicoulous." Louis snorts.

Sitting down on next to Harry on his bed, Louis presses a kiss to his cheek. With a smile Harry turns his head to face Louis. They lock eyes for a moment. By accident, they've sat down so close to each other that he can literally feel Louis' breath on his skin. He notices Louis' eyes flicker down to his lips. He bites his own dry and chapped lip and looks up into Harry's eyes again.

It's with some sort of asking look that Harry doesn't respond to. Or, he does. But instead of with words, he catches Louis' lips in a slow and soft kiss. Louis doesn't let him pull away and continues kissing him for a while. He pauses for a while without a word, smiling at Harry before moving to place his legs in the others lap. With a sigh, Harry connects their lips again. 

Louis almost pulls away hesitantly before kissing Harry back again. It's hesitant for a little while until he opens his mouth slightly. Harry sighs, deepening the kiss. Their tongues brush together and Harry almost immediately pulls away, scared of letting things go too far.

"Shit, sorry. Was that okay?"

"Don't worry Lou. I'm alright. Just, baby steps." Harry says with a reassuring smile.

"Right, of course. Babysteps for the little baby."

Harry rolls his eyes.

"'M still older than you."

"I don't care." Louis says.

With a faked dramatic sigh Harry places a hand on Louis' jaw and pulls him in for another kiss.

"I know you don't. Truth hurts Loubear."

"Where did that come from?" Louis asks with a soft smile.

Harry just shrugs. 

"Dunno. Felt right. It fits you."

 _Loubear._ It really does fit him. Like a cuddly teddy bear he is. Harry's definetely sticking with it.

"I like it." Louis smiles.

Smiling back, Harry presses a gentle kiss to Louis' forehead. Is it too early to say that he really fucking loves him?

\- - -

He decides that it is and sticks to cuddling Louis for the whole day, talking about random shit. It's nice. Finally having someone to shittalk with that actually wants to is an amazing feeling.

"What do you want to do in the future?" Louis suddenly asks. "Like, where d'you want to live and all that shit."

Harry chuckles slightly.

"No idea. I want dogs, and I'd love to live in London but other than that I have no idea. Bet you have your whole life planned out in your head."

"Fuck off, I don't. Honestly, I kind of want kids. But then I also have no fucking patience so it'd just fuck up."

"I think you'd be a good parent. Seriously, you'd be the parent to always give your kids KFC and sweets."

Louis laughs, looking up into Harry's eyes. His blue eyes are filled with happiness, making Harry smile.

"You'd be the boring parent to make healthy ass food."

"Bet." Harry laughs, pressing a kiss to Louis' forehead. "Now that you've mentioned it, I really want kids. Like, I want to be able to give a kid the good childhood I never had."

"That's sweet." 

Smiling, Harry pulls Louis closer to him. 

"Just like you." He mumbles softly into Louis' ear. 

With a slight blush Louis lets his head fall back onto Harry's shoulder. He smiles as they lock eyes. Probably for the first time forever Harry finds himself not care as his cheeks flush red, realising how badly he'd want a future with Louis. Raising their kids together, getting a dog.

"You're thinking again." Louis sighs.

"I'm fully aware." Harry laughs slightly.

Louis raises an questioning eyebrow that tells Harry he wants to know. He laughs, thinking about it for a little while before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth.

"Harry, come on. I already know you're thinking about me, you always look so damn dreamy when you do."

Harry looks away, resting his head lightly on top of Louis'.

"Do I actually or are you just shitting me?"

"Sorry love, you do." Louis smirks teasingly. "But carry on, what were you thinking about?"

Harry shakes his head.

"For gods sake Harold. Okay, I'll go first because I was thinking too. And then you'll have to tell me." He tilts Harry's head slightly to look into his eyes again. "I've got it planned out. We'll adopt a kid or two and I'll be the unhealthy shitfood parent so you'll have to cook healthy food in order to save us from cardiac arrests from all the unhealthiness."

"So basically you're taking the kids to get KFC while I stay at home making salads?"

"Exactly like that."

Harry laughs, resting his head back onto Louis'. He shakes his head slightly, looking down at Louis with a smile. His hand finds it way to Louis', almost automatically. Louis lets him intertwine their fingers.

"You're so stupid sometimes." Harry says softly.

And he loves it. But for now that's still not being said out loud. Soon, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! <3


End file.
